Oprah to critics of celebrity adoption: stick it
Oprah Winfrey has no patience with people who have criticized Madonna’s adoption of David Banda.
She told USA Weekend, "They can stick it. It’s a miracle when a child gets saved. And I don’t care if it’s Brad Pitt and Angelina or somebody we have not even heard of. When I see them carrying around that little black baby, that is so OK with me. The people who criticized Madonna don’t know what the hell they were talking about, because she saved a child."
Source: USA Weekend (the Sunday magazine of USA Today), December 17, 2006 issue, via Us Weekly, December 18, 2006 issue, Photo: Wire Image
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December 8th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
I agree with Oprah’s comments, but honestly-why did she have to bring race into the picture? Yes, David is black, but why should that matter? I understand that she was making the point that children adopted from such underpoverished nations are blessed to find parents like Madonna and Guy Ritchie, but to say, “When I see them carrying out that little black baby, that is so OK with me?” How are we supposed to get past racism if it is constantly being brought up when it doesn’t have to be?
Another thing I find odd about that comment is how Oprah says, “That is so OK with me.” Umm-ok. I guess we can all breathe easier now that Oprah approved of Madonna’s adoption. I’m not disputing the fact that she does wonderful things with her power, but I think it’s gone to her head.
December 8th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
Too right Oprah!
December 8th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
I object to the characterization of adoption as “saving a child”.
There’s nothing noble about it for us. We just wanted to be parents and to love a child. I wanted to be someone’s mom.
I have never viewed my son’s adoption as ’saving him’.
If there was any ’saving’ to be had, it’s all on my kid.
His love saved me.
December 8th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
I don’t disagree with the O, but I do feel that in Madonna’s case people automatically assume that just because someone is a huge celebrity, and have lots of money, that fact automatically translates into being a good parent. It does not! (Personally I am glad that Malawian officials are monitoring David, for that reason!) In fact, Madonna has recently admitted to having marital problems so instead of adopoting, she could have easily donated time and money to a great children’s charity — instead of creating yet another child of a probable divorce! That’s no better than someone having a baby to save the marriage!
Also in Madonna’s case, David still has a living parent, so she should have left him with his father and new stepmother to be raised in his own family – I heard he recently remarried. If she felt such a “strong connection” with him, just write the dad a HUGE check to help him out! I know I’m rambling, but I just hated how Madonna went on Oprah saying “I just wanted to give a child a life”…the kid already has a life, I assume she meant a “better life” but that’s not how she phrased it! As Oprah has said, (and she has more money than most-including Madonna) she does not adopt children individually because she doesn’t have the time career-wise to devote to them. To me, that’s okay!! I applaud Oprah for all she does for children everywhere!!!
December 8th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
With all due respect to Oprah because i do agree with her, it is a miracle when a child from an underprivilaged nation is adopted. It is the speed in which these adoptions seem to take place which is highlighted and frustrating for us non-celebrities. I do not want to appear discouraging because it is wonderful that these children are provided with a life of oppurtunities that are beyond their imagination but the average person cannot see a child, bond with it and have it home in their own country with their family within months, they wait years sometimes while the celebrities appear to have the joy of new people and new love in their lives.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
I agree with Oprah to some extent; however there is something about the whole Madonna adoption situation that doesn’t sit right with me.
It was reported that she bought all these ridiculously expensive things for David – thousand-dollar bedding, outfits and toys that cost hundreds and hundreds of dollars. If this is true, I just wonder how many more children in David’s orphanages could have been “saved” by that amount of money. Could she have saved twenty children and given them normally-priced clothes and toys?
I know it’s hard to draw a line – how much do you have to give, how much is it okay to have when others have nothing, etc. One person can’t do everything. And I know Madonna did give money and supplies to the orphanage.
For myself, I wouldn’t feel right swooping one child out of an orphanage to live like a little prince, while the rest are still there suffering. I think what Oprah is doing (with the ten children she is supporting) is a much more noble choice. I’m not trying to be judgemental or mean – I just think it is an interesting subject, and I wonder what Madonna’s thoughts on this are.
December 8th, 2006 at 6:28 pm
She saved a child who already had a father to spend tens of thousands on unnecessary gifts for that child, when she’s already made comments about how being a wife and mother isn’t enough for her and how she feels like getting a massage instead of being with her children. I was adopted, and am glad it wasn’t by her!
December 8th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
I agree 100%! Kids need to be loved and have a good life!
December 8th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
I agree with Oprah. I’ve read that Madonna, when she learned David had a living father, did offer to help David’s father financially so he could raise his son. But David’s father wanted David to live with Madonna and be her son. And regarding the money Madonna supposedly spent on David: Really, the same criticism–that we spend money on our own kids that could be spent helping children in developing countries–could be leveled against most of us.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:59 pm
It doesn’t bother me in the least that Madonna adopted David. He lost a mother and 3 siblings to HIV and he was living in an orphanage with malaria and pneumonia. He was undernourished and very sick. How can anyone question his need to be adopted? He was living an unthinkable life. Another thing, and this is really a small point, but it bothers me when people judge the way some celebrities spend money. She has a right to buy whatever she wants. She doesn’t have to give any money away, but she has given millions. When you or I go out and buy a pair of $100 boots, we could be giving that money away. Or when we buy Christmas presents for our children, who really don’t need them, we could be paying for food for an orphan for a year, but most of us don’t. So I’d say not to judge other unless you are willing to forgo your own luxuries, to save a life.
December 8th, 2006 at 9:34 pm
If people have such a problem with David’s adoption, they need to take it up with his father – not Madonna. HE wanted her to adopt him. HE placed that child in an orphanage. HE gave Madonna permission to adopted him, AFTER she told him she would give him money to raise David on his own. HE is the one people need to be bashing, not Madonna.
And yes, Madonna SAVED David. That kid was not going to survive in such a place, and she took it upon herself to get the best medical attention and took him away from a place that could kill him.
Maybe not all children who are adopted are being “saved” but David was – and so were children like Zahara Jolie-Pitt, who was also extremely ill when Angelina found/adopted her.
BTW, AMEN MELANIE!!! Right on point – people need to really get off their pedestals and start looking at themselves before pointing their judgmental fingers at others. If Madonna or any other celeb wants to lavish luxuries on THEIR offspring, it’s their choice. If they want to give 1/3 of their earnings to charities (like Angelina Jolie) that is their choice. Enough with the jealousy, already! And yes, it sounds like nothing but jealously to me – but that’s only me, I guess. LOL
December 8th, 2006 at 10:30 pm
Melanie and Erin right on 100% and I’m not going to even lie, I am one of those parents who spend useless amounts of dollars on X-mas presents that could help children in orphanages or homeless shelters. Sad but true. And I agree they saved those children from a life of if not death then malnourishment, diseases and poverty.
December 8th, 2006 at 11:08 pm
She may have worded it in a way that people might want to disagree, but I see nothing wrong with what she said. Did Madonna save David? Yes, in a way she did. She wanted to give him a good life, and that’s all I know of. I don’t pay too much attention to what rag mags say about it. And I’d be saying something totally different if I hadn’t seen those photos of David looking happy and healthy with his new family.
Yes, there may have some sort of miscommunincation or misunderstanding with David’s father, or maybe he’s just saying he wants him back now for whatever reasons, but I do think little David will be better off.
And, even if Madonna is having supposed marital problems, doesn’t mean she can’t be a good mom. I know I nag about others and may say the total opposite about them than with Madonna, but I honestly believe she’s just trying to do something good, in her own way, even if others don’t agree.
As long as David is happy and healthy, and thriving, which looks to be a lot more than you could say about him while he was in Malawi, then nothing else should really mattered. To me, he seems to be a happy, healthy and spoiled child. But what child isn’t?
December 9th, 2006 at 1:32 am
Listen to what you’re saying LC:
“Yes, there may have some sort of miscommunincation or misunderstanding with David’s father, or maybe he’s just saying he wants him back now for whatever reasons, but I do think little David will be better off.”
That’s an outrageous statement! For “whatever reasons”??? You are talking about the boy’s FATHER!!! Does he really need to give a reason for wanting his son back??? He may have reasons that none of you can fathom, but he has every right to. Madonna has an 18 month waiting period for a reason! Celebrities shouldn’t just think that they can go to Africa and not have to worry about the same emotions involved with ANY traditional adoption. It sickens me to think that that’s the main reason people seek international adoptions.
I bet the people that say that David is better off with Madonna than with his own father also thought that Elian Gonzalez was better off with his “rich” relatives in America versus his “poor” father in Cuba – am I right? Elian sure looked happy and healthy taking those (photo op) trips to Disney with his stateside relatives, and enjoying the litany of gifts bestowed upon him, but guess what? He’s back in Cuba now under an admittedly oppressive regime with his father, WHERE HE BELONGS! Case closed!
December 9th, 2006 at 8:47 am
I don’t think writing a “huge check” to David’s dad would have automatically made him a better parent.
Madonna is obviously giving a child love and attention he would otherwise not get in an orphanage. I worked for awhile in an orphanage in Eastern Europe, and if you saw those conditions, you would do ANYTHING to save those children. I strongly support Madonna. And who says giving your kids nice things is BAD? She has a ton of money so of COURSE David’s stuff will be more expensive than most kids. But she’s also doing a lot with her money to help others in that orphanage. Some countries, like where I worked, you could give a ton of money to an orphanage and feed into the whole system, but that doesn’t necessarily help. CHILDREN NEED PARENTS, regardless WHO they are. I just think a lot of people who are posting are just jealous! We can be so critical of something so positive, why is that????????
December 9th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
I agree Melanie and Flynn! Also, WE did not hear about the adoption untill the process was pretty far along. She did NOT want it broadcast all over the world. It was the press that intruded and that’s when varying information leaked all over the place. Please people lets all try to be fair and objective. And in David’s case… Yes, she surely did save that little boy. Bless you MaDonna for SAVING A LIFE.
December 9th, 2006 at 3:07 pm
Thank you Melanie and the others. Madonna saved David!! let us not forget that David was in an orphanage since his mother’s death and his father had not visited him. His father refused the money to take care of him. He wanted Madonna to adopt the boy. So, YES, she did save that child’s life, because he would have died at a very young age too. What is mind boggling to me is that Madonna caught so much flack and attention for adopting, but for Angelina and Brad, it was all good. Why the difference? Also, unless you have had to opportunity to travel outside of the US and see the poverty first-hand, it is difficult to understand how other people live. Poverty in the US would be considered the good life!
December 9th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
It’s curious that with international adoptions so many view it as unethical when there’s one living parent. (It happened with Angelina Jolie, too, if you remember.)
I wonder if everyone who declared in an outraged tone, “but he has a father; she should have helped him raise his son,” would say the same thing to those adopting children domestically who have living mothers and fathers. That happens everyday, yet I don’t believe I’ve ever heard the same protest.
December 9th, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Chicki, comparing Elian Gonzalez to David Banda is ridiculous. Their situations were totally different. First of all, the child had no say in coming to the United States. His relatives here weren’t “rich” believe me (I lived in South Florida at the time). And, Elian was returned to his father because his mother had died and that was where he should have been…with his own father. His only living parent. He is well taken care of and his family enjoys many perks now in Cuba also. Not to get into any politics here but there is far more to that story than meets the eye. For what its worth I think he should be with his father. But,
In David’s case he was sick and starving. His father couldn’t take care of him and placed him in an orphangae willingly. Madonna offered to help him be able to take care of David and he refused but wanted Madonnna to adopt the boy. So she did. She did sort of “save” him. If she wants to shower him with gifts its her call. She is treating him just like her own flesh and blood children. I think it is admirable. Now David’s father is remarried and his new wife is actually pregnant! Something doesn’t sit right with me about THAT!
December 10th, 2006 at 6:55 am
I’ve lost all respect for Madonna, not that I ever had much of it in the first place. She wears fur!
December 10th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Well said: Fynn, melanie and tink! You’ve each expressed exactly how I feel, and very well I might add!
I especially think you are right on the mark in saying that most of us could also forgo some luxuries in life and contribute to those less fortunate than us. It shouldn’t only be expected of the very wealthy. Poverty and wealth is relative. Compared to many in nations such as Malawi, we are all very rich!
I certainly don’t know all the details about David or his biological family, but one thing in particular sticks in my mind: David’s father said he has lost other children. He didn’t want to bury another child. Based on that statement alone, I don’t see how anyone can possibly argue that this adoption is not a good thing. I honestly believe some people just can’t see past the fact that it’s Madonna. Their personal feelings about her or their jealousy, or whatever, is getting in the way of seeing what a truly wonderful thing she has done!
December 11th, 2006 at 12:23 pm
“It happened with Angelina as well, if you remember”.
Mo, that’s not true. Zahara did NOT have a living parent when she was adopted by Angie. There was a woman who CLAIMED to be Z’s mother for public attention but she turned out to be a fraud. Check this out
“In the months following Zahara’s adoption news reports emerged in which several women either claimed to be her birth mother or her grandmother. While making an appearance on CNN’s The Situation Room Jolie stated that her daughter is an “AIDS orphan.” By that she means her birth mother died from AIDS, but her daughter does not have the disease. The birth father of Zahara is not known. Her statement made it clear that the birth mother is indeed dead. In late October 2005, an Ethiopian judge ruled that there is no evidence to suggest that Jolie would have to file for re-adoption of her daughter. The judge also ruled that a woman claiming to be her mother is not the birth mother.” (source wikipedia)
December 11th, 2006 at 6:03 pm
I knew that, actually, even though I didn’t make it clear in my comment. When the stories emerged about the supposed birthmother, nearly identical comments were made. I was refering to the sentiments, beliefs and values implicit in these kinds of criticisms, not their veracity.