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Sign Up"My baby self weaned despite me trying to keep up the nursing! I find it so refreshing to hear Gwen talk about how hard she works to lose weight and keep herself in top shape. She looks great and has a beautiful family."
- essi, on Gwen Stefani Says Self-Weaning Zuma ‘Felt Like a Total Rejection’“I sit there and play princesses with my daughter, and I never told her anything about a princess, ever. Whereas I go to my brother’s house, and he’s got two boys…I walk in the front door, and I instantly get punched in the nuts.”
- Matt Damon, on Matt Damon ‘Relearning’ the Differences Between Boys and GirlsActress Sarah Michelle Gellar, 30, is on the cover of men magazine Maxim’s December issue where she was asked if she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr., 31, are ready for children. They have been married for five years.
You can’t be selfish and have a child. Right now I want to live my life and have fun. I want to go sit in my Jacuzzi and drink wine all night.
Source: People.com
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November 12th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Good for her, not feeling pressured into having kids before she is ready. I am the mother of one, soon to be two, and although I love my role as a mom it is a total commitment and really changes your life. Women who are not ready for it are wise to wait and should be respected for that decision.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Can’t hate on her honesty! I read the entire interview on People.com and I want the Jacuzzi with the colored lights…;) Sounds nice!
November 12th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
my bio clock didn’t start ticking until I was 35 and before that I was adamant about not wanting any.
If she ever decides she is ready I’m sure she will make an excellent mom.
November 12th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
I do appreciate her honesty, however, what’s scary is that I think a lot of people think that they can be “selfish” and just have fun for a long, long time and still be able to have kids really easily once the time is right for them, but as a woman gets older, it gets harder and harder to get pregnant. Sometimes, all the money in the world won’t get you a baby (a biological one, anyway).
Look at Jane Seymour. She had two kids at a younger age, and by the time she was married to James Keach and ready to start a family again, she suffered miscarriages and when through difficult fertility treatments to finally successfully have her twins. Not all women are that lucky! She had lots of problems with that pregnancy as well, and it’s a miracle the boys were even born!
I say, have fun and live it up, but don’t wait too long if you want a family, because eggs and youth don’t last forever.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
Well Ashley some of us don’t feel ready to have kids until our mid thirties.She still has plenty of time. She isn’t 40 yet so why panic about it now? Also there are plenty of people in their 20’s who have issues trying to have a baby.
November 12th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
All I have to say is that I have had two very easy conceptions and pregnancies, both in my thirties. And I have had friends suffer multiple miscarriages, genetic issues, etc. in their twenties. I know there is a correlation between age and these things, which is part of the reason why I am having my second baby fairly close to my first. But Sarah is only 30! She has plenty of time. (By the way, Jane Seymour was 44 when she had her twins, so bringing her up really is not relevant.) No woman should rush into having children if she is not ready.
November 12th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
Hmmm. How to say this without offending anyone. Yes, a woman’s biological clock may not start ticking until later but I wish that more woman would consider the children later on not simply their own need to have kids. Sure you want a baby when your 40 but are your kids going to enjoy a 50 something parent in their teens? No way. My husbands mom was 35 when she had him and his dad was 45. He hated it. He always got made fun of, his parents were not close with any of the other parents because they were quite a bit older, etc. He was jealous of all of his friends parents that were able to do more and relate more because they were younger. His dad died when he was only 27 because he was sick and in his early 70’s. He got to see our first child celebrate the first 11 months of her life and the younger children missed out on that. I know that many people have older parents and it all worked out but most kids don’t enjoy it. And if your life expectancy is not going to allow you to actually witness your children grow up into adulthood, I just think that the decision should be reconsidered.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Yikes, must I repeat, this woman is only 30 years old!!! She has plenty of fertile years ahead of her, and she certainly can expect to see her children grow up even if she waits a few years to have them. Plus, these days, many woman have their first child in their 30s. I suppose it depends what the “norm” is where you live, but here in Boston it is actually more unusual to hear of a woman having children before age 28 or so. And it is certainly the same in Hollywood. Times have changed, and I think that many women have found that they are more fulfilled as mothers if they have had some time to enjoy adulthood first.
One more thing to note — my grandmother had my aunt at age 44. She is now 92 and going strong and I honestly believe that having a baby later in life has kept her “young” and sharp as a tack. Not only has she lived to see her daughter grow up, she has lived to see her daughter’s children grow up as well.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Angelbaby how can you say MOST children don’t enjoy having older parents? You don’t know that. Every single one of my friends had “older parents” and I never gave it much thought. In fact I enjoyed the stability that was provided for me, and my friends. Not one of our parents got a divorce and there was financial stability. I look at people now who are young who have children who can’t afford them and wish that they could travel and do all the things that other young people are doing. Both have it’s perks, but I don’t think anyone should rush into being a parent because they don’t want to be an old parent. In the long run being ready and capable is more important then age.
November 12th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I completely agree w/the comments re: her age & the ticking clock. I could understand her making that comment about wanting to have fun etc.. at 20! ..but at 30+! Let’s be realistic, eggs do have an expiration date and so does life! Therefore as someone else mentioned, if you do decide to start having babies at 40+, you will have less time on earth w/your precious baby -is that fair to your child?
You can start a family and still have PLENTY of fun…especially when you’re rich!
November 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I say that most (most people if not everyone I know who has older parents) have never enjoyed it. I also stated that many times, I am sure that it workd out great. BUT, most people I know would have prefered their parents being 7-15 years younger. I used my husbands parents as an example. It’s great when they live long but unfortuantely with disease, obesity, and other ailments, a lot of people don’t make it to the 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and 100’s. Bostonmom, that’s awesome that she is 92 years old. I hope I live that long. Sadly though, a lot of people don’t. Also, with my husbands parents having him so late, all of the grandparents had already died from old age. He never got to meet any grandparents. I just think that you have to take stuff like that into consideration.
November 12th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Good for her!
November 13th, 2007 at 12:04 am
I am going to repeat what BostonMom said….The woman is only 30 years old for gosh sakes! Who says she’s going to wait until she’s 40 or older to have a child? She may have one in the next five years for all we know! All she said is that she is not ready for children RIGHT NOW. She could easily change her mind in a year or two!
As for “most children” disliking it when their parents are older, I agree with BostonMom that it’s not necessarily true. I also want to add that their are probably kids of very young parents who wish their parents weren’t so young. In otherwords, it goes both ways.
November 13th, 2007 at 12:06 am
She’s only 30 and I need to add, Sarah’s dad was never in her life and she has said that she doesn’t have a father. Obviously she knows what happens when someone’s not ready to be a parent. If she doesn’t feel she’s ready to have a child, then good for her for not having one. “Just in case” is not a good reason to create a human being.
November 13th, 2007 at 12:16 am
Older women do have limitations in ability to have children, but more importantly, the genetic quality decreases rapidly with age. Countless limitations for the child, if not for the mother. The wider the gap between child and parent, the harder it is to relate to the reality faced. As far as the logic behind wanting to have fun or the desire to travel… If you have your children when you are younger, you have plenty of years in your adulthood to enjoy these experiences. You will enjoy them more, from the eyes of a satisfied and wise parent.
More importantly, you will have many more years to share this wisdom with your children. The trend of older mothers is illusioned. It is typical of ‘modern’ mentality. Children are becoming accessories, conveniences. The daycare child is a perfect example. Financial stability is important. Yet, it is not difficult to live good life for very little money. Simplicity and goodness. Priorities are very interesting in America. The preoccupation with baby weight is beyond obsessive and neurotic. The materialism of baby products is also so. Buying a child an expensive material item will not rectify the harms of leaving them with a nanny or relative all day. A physical item will not represent love, and will enforce poor values. What has happened to ethics? I know of no religion that does not aim for selflessness. Death is so close to each of us. In a moment as real as the moment you live now, you will die. Understanding this, how could drinks in a hot tub compare to bringing life into this world? How could a trip to Europe replace love? What is it we are seeking, truly? How can you live for the self and be happy?
November 13th, 2007 at 12:17 am
She is only 30, if she was 40 and saying this totally different story, but nowadays a lot of people are having their first around late 20’s early 30’s. And like someone mentioned I know people who have had miscarriages and problems in their 20’s, and other women in their late 30’s and early 40’s who have had children like nothing. So it all depends and honestly with rich people or celebrities, very few that want kids don’t end up having them because they have the money to get the best treatment, if they need it. Salma hayek, mariska, geana davis, halle berry, marcia cross, etc have all gotten pregnant, gwen stefani, etc have all gotten pregnant. If she isn’t ready than that’s her business, personally after 5yrs of marriage I would, but to each is own and everyone is different.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:16 am
Some of these comments are examples of what women face nowadays. Why are some women trying to pressure people into having kids when they aren’t ready.It’s her body and her life…can’t we just all respect that.
November 13th, 2007 at 1:57 am
oh brother, age is just a number anyway. we never even considered having children until we were in our 30s and we managed to have 3, all with decent amounts of time in between to allow them to be babies. if we’d had children younger, they’d have been in fulltime daycare from birth and wouldn’t have the benefits of a stay at home mother or the funds to do their many enrichment activities. it’s a very personal decision, but i don’t think i’d have been a very good parent in my 20s. 30s and 40s are a different story. if my kids grow up to dislike me for something so shallow and stupid as the age at which i bore them, i won’t have done a very good job at bringing them up. all kids are eventually embarrassed by their parents anyway, regardless of their age.
November 13th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Older women do have limitations in ability to have children, but more importantly, the genetic quality decreases rapidly with age. Countless limitations for the child, if not for the mother. The wider the gap between child and parent, the harder it is to relate to the reality faced. As far as the logic behind wanting to have fun or the desire to travel… If you have your children when you are younger, you have plenty of years in your adulthood to enjoy these experiences. You will enjoy them more, from the eyes of a satisfied and wise parent.
More importantly, you will have many more years to share this wisdom with your children. The trend of older mothers is illusioned. It is typical of ‘modern’ mentality. Children are becoming accessories, conveniences. The daycare child is a perfect example. Financial stability is important. Yet, it is not difficult to live good life for very little money. Simplicity and goodness. Priorities are very interesting in America. The preoccupation with baby weight is beyond obsessive and neurotic. The materialism of baby products is also so. Buying a child an expensive material item will not rectify the harms of leaving them with a nanny or relative all day. A physical item will not represent love, and will enforce poor values. What has happened to ethics? I know of no religion that does not aim for selflessness. Death is so close to each of us. In a moment as real as the moment you live now, you will die. Understanding this, how could drinks in a hot tub compare to bringing life into this world? How could a trip to Europe replace love? What is it we are seeking, truly? How can you live for the self and be happy?
November 13th, 2007 at 6:44 am
It is a proven scientific fact that a woman’s fertility starts to decline at around age 30.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:17 am
Arguing the virtues of having kids later vs earlier, or whether or not the kids are happy with older parents vs younger – we can talk about the two sides until we are blue in the face. But the fact of the matter though is that this is the way our society is going (in first world countries anyway). If you look at the statistics over the last 50 years the average age for first births is higher – and quite frankly, with the choices out there for women (and men) now, I don’t see that going back down.
And btw, I come from a family where my parents were older and established before they had kids, as were both sets of my grandparents. And I am folllowing that plan as well. Not saying its right or wrong, just saying it has worked for my family.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:05 am
I respect that she is responsible enough to wait until she is ready. Why rush into a huge commitment that you aren’t ready for. We have all seen the moms who jumped into mommyhood before they were ready and the children are the ones to suffer.
November 13th, 2007 at 10:50 am
I can’t imagine being that old and pregnant. I enjoy being a young mom with my kids. Yes, it’s possible to have kids well into your 50’s, but man is it hard on you.
November 13th, 2007 at 11:32 am
More power to her! Why bring someone into the world only based on age or society? She can always adopt if she isn’t able to, right?? Kids will forever think their parents are old no matter what age. She’s right, you can’t be selfish and have a child. I know some parents who are my age (mid 20s) with 1+ children who still want to act like young and party and spend money and time on themselves rather than set aside for their children. (and I don’t have children) You have responsibilities and priorities now. She’s making a good choice. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. PERIOD!
November 13th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Angelbaby, your husband’s parents were like mine almost. My father was 41 when and my mother 33 when they had me, and no, I don’t mind having older parents. They’re both just as spry as can be, my dad in better shape than some men half his age. I don’t dislike having older parents/hate it/nothing.
Only thing my father does now that he knows I do want a baby/children is tease me about how he’s hoping I give him a granddaughter soon (he has enough grandsons to have a sports team without a girl in sight) before he’s too old to do anything, since all of my other siblings are done or aren’t having children of their own. I don’t mind the teasing, it’s funny. Besides, I do hope that wish does come true sometime soon.
November 13th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
maybe she don´t want children, she is free to do what she want, not all the women we want to have children
November 13th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
I agree with Renee. Her body, her choice, and it should be respected. You think that you’re the only ones that know that she may have trouble conceiving or that she can’t have a baby forever? Goodness!
November 13th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
omg can they have babies already, please? I love this couple and they are going to make amazing parents. I respect Sarah’s desire to just chill and have fun right now, but I hope that’s just a phase, or else these two may never start a family.
November 14th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Only 30 years old? She is not a child. I respect that she’s being honest with herself and knows that she is not ready to be a mother. However, 30 is not the optimal time biologically to have a child. Miracles and medicine do make it possible for some women to give birth to a baby well past 30. Why take that gamble?
Fun can be had at any age, but children require mental and physical stamina. Both deteriorate with age.
Sarah is being honest, but not realistic.
November 14th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Man, since when is 30 old to start having kids? I am starting to feel like I should get going on starting a family, and I am only 22!
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
I’m glad for her… Pressuring someone to have kids does not work… & she’s still young.
August 17th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Everyone seems so concerned that she won’t be able to have viable eggs, but you know…she can always ADOPT if she wants to have children later on in life. There’s no problem with her waiting a few years – or even twenty more.