Cindy Margolis discusses fertility struggle in new book
As mom to 5 ½-year-old Nicolas Isaac, conceived via gamete intra-fallopian transfer (GIFT), and 2 ½-year-old twins Sabrina and Sierra, delivered by a surrogate, Cindy Margolis knows a thing or two about infertility.
The 42-year-old actress has authored the book ‘Having a Baby…When The Old-Fashioned Way Isn’t Working’ ($15), which chronicles her quest for motherhood, a quest which Cindy says began in earnest on her honeymoon with husband Guy Starkman. According to Cindy, despite "two weeks of the most amazing, nonstop sex you could imagine," the couple failed to conceive a baby — and the mental anguish began to set in. Fearing that she was "going nuts," Cindy writes,
I thought I was being punished for my past mistakes: I should never have cheated on my first love with that cute actor who turned out to be a jerk! I set up a baby shrine next to my bed … I wrote letters to my unborn baby. I lit fertility candles, saw a psychic and then a healer, and even had my stomach blessed by a priest, a rabbi and a minister. When all that didn’t work, I was convinced it was because God saw through me.
When conditions were best for baby-making, Cindy was ready — and she expected Guy to be, too.
I would call Guy off the basketball court, out of a meeting, away from a family function, and even home early from a business trip . . . I even told him once that if he didn’t get home within 10 minutes and have sex with me, I would find someone else who would.
Now that they are a family of five and Cindy’s dreams of motherhood have been fulfilled, she offers hope for others who face similar obstacles, urging readers "please, never give up the faith."
Source: NY Post
- Posted on Jan 1, 08 at 9:08PM
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January 2nd, 2008 at 7:32 am
I’m so happy she wrote this! As someone who has struggled with having a baby for the past 4 years, I definitely look forward to reading this book.
January 2nd, 2008 at 9:03 am
its great she is sharing, of course. And I am very happy she was able to have the children she so desperately wanted. But, what bothers me is celebs who write about this stuff have all the money in the world to do IVF or surrogacy. What about those of us who don’t who desperately want a baby. Or who keep getting pregnant and miscarry. Like me. Only recently have we been able to even consider IVF. And that is because I have appealed my insurance company and looks like we will win. If we weren’t able to do it that way we would have to take out $20,000 in loans. I am already 38 and been trying for almost 9 years.
So, like I said..although its wonderful when someone overcomes their fertility problems (believe me, I applaud them)…there are still those of us who never even get to try those methods due to money and insurance limits.
January 2nd, 2008 at 9:14 am
I remember watching the show she did on her fertility treatments, and it just looked so exhausting and it was so sad when she didn’t become preganant. I am happy she is able to have the family she wanted, her children are beautiful
January 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I wanted to clarify my post above…I want you all to know I am thoroughly thrilled for Cindy and any other mother who gets her miracle. What I think I was trying to convey is the money part being so difficult for those of us who live normal everyday lives and aren’t well off. The insurance issue is a BIG deal to me. Adding insurance coverage for infertility treatments for EVERYONE who may need it would only cost the average person with insurance an extra $3-$5 a month in premiums. And the costs would go down for treatment if more people had access. And, maybe if more people had access the success rates would increase. At least I would hope so.
Anyway, I didn’t want anyone to think I was complaining. That wasn’t my intention at all.
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Hey Tink1217… have you tought about adoption? if the IVF thing doesn’t work out? or maybe Surogant?
January 3rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I sympathize with Tink1217. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but I think the majority of people (not everyone, of course!) pursue it after they feel they have exhausted their options to have a biological child. Anyone who has undergone a protracted infertility journey knows that you can only be where you’re at. You do everything you can to conceive and carry a child to term until you’ve reached your personal limit. Then it’s time to mourn that possibility and move on to the next strategy.
Thank God we live in a world when there are so many ways to make a family, but let’s have compassion for the effort and energy it takes for each of us to figure out what’s right for ourselves.
I feel so fortunate to have had insurance that covered me through two years of fertility treatment including Clomid, a miscarriage, months of timed intercourse, exloratory surgery, and ultimately a successful round of mini-IVF. If we had not had the medical options made available by our HMO, our journey would have looked very different.
January 4th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Well said greganda. I was lucky to have a baby right away when I tried, but my sister was not and had over two years of infertility after a stillborn. I think it’s hard to understand the desperation some people feel.
That said, I think some of Cindy’s stories sound a bit crazy (esp the one where she told her husband she’s find somebody else to have sex with her!). There IS a point where fertility struggles can damage your marriage or your relationships with people. It’s important to try to focus on the good things, instead of obsessing over a baby to the point of losing things that are important to you. I’m really glad she was able to have her dream come true though. It sounds as if she would not have been at peace for a long time if her family had not happened for her this way.