“Furthermore, I believe that a lot of the criticisms and judgements that people hand out on this board definitely has a lot to do with gender based on the fact that we are mostly mothers with children here criticizing other mothers…”

My statement that gender has nothing to do with it was in response to someone else’s sweeping statement that “women like to criticize women.” I’m aware of the fact that this board is comprised almost totally of women, my point was this board is not indicative of everyone.

You could look at this board and jump to the conclusion that women are hard on women because the only people here doing the criticizing are women, but that’s only because this board is made up of women.

If you look at the whole picture it’s possible to see that this board is not a true reflection of the whole world, and that the posters on this board are about 10% critical and 90% people who aren’t being critical. Which kind of blows the theory of “women are all critical of women” out of the water.

It’s amazing to me that ALL women are being labeled as catty, judgemental, and overly critical because of 10% of the people on ONE message board. I would think that in this day and age we could move beyond those old, tired cliches about women.

Okay, this turned into something ridiculous. Where in the article does it say he’s seeking sympathy? That’s right, nowhere. All he said is that he is going to miss his girls, for God’s sake. Just like anyone else would! He just says with the advance in technology he’ll still be able to communicate with them.

If he was out there crying during the interview about how he has to leave for the tour, then I would understand why some could be mad about this. Yes, they are soldiers in Iraq who have no choice. Yes, Joel does have a choice, and he chose to leave for 3 weeks for the already rescheduled tour. Like I said, he’s not whining about how he has to leave. People are just twisting his words.

As for the whole “Joel and Nicole are too focused on what people think about them.” Please, did it ever occur that maybe they keep being asked where their daughter is? Are they supposed to just stand and shrug the question off. And if they feel like sharing the information with the world, let them! I don’t understand why this would be such a crime. I think people are taking some things too seriously.

Lizzielui, thank you! Finally there’s someone else who didn’t blow this out of proportion.

Pfft *sigh* I just wanted to add this to my previous comment.

Amen, Lizzielui.

Wow.
Joel is not seeking sympathy from anyone? He just said he’s going to miss his family while on tour, just like anyone else would. He’s not being all “OMG, feel sorry for me guys.” Besides, he said he wouldn’t want to take Harlow anyways, because she’s still so young. Also, I can imagine the tabloids being all over it calling them ‘horrible’ parents again if Nicole and Harlow went on tour with the band.

As a frequent member of this site, I think it is quite obvious to see that some of the same women who “Can’t wait to hear the details of so and so celebs’ pregnancy” are some of the same women who judge those very same celebs harshly. I am not calling out any one poster in particular but this is in fact something that I have noticed on this board and several others.

Furthermore, I believe that a lot of the criticisms and judgements that people hand out on this board definitely has a lot to do with gender based on the fact that we are mostly mothers with children here criticizing other mothers and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of leeway when it comes to the way other WOMEN choose to raise their children around here.

I strongly believe that there is a lot of unwarranted bashing back and forth simply because another mother chooses to do something differently. Someone can make the most benign comment about breast feeding and then BOOM, a full fledged war has begun. Same with SAHM and Working mothers.

As a woman who grew up in a house with four sisters I know first hand that we women sometimes relate to one another and put issues on each other in ways that are sometimes downright silly. That is not to say that men do not have their own issues, because clearly they do.

However, I am speaking as woman because this is my experience. With this is mind, I feel strongly that we as women need to be more supportive of each other. No one is asking for comments that are all sunshine and rosy.

However, it makes no sense at all to turn an article in which a couple innocuously discusses how they are going to be separated for three weeks into something about men in the military who have to leave their families and how they should gain more sympathy than someone like Nicole and Joel. Like a previous poster said, when you go back and re-read the article you wonder, “WHY ON EARTH IS THERE A DEBATE GOING ON HERE?”

“Honestly, I sometimes think we as women just love nothing more than to sit back and bash others just for the hell of it. There always seems to be an attempt to one up the next person with, “Oh you’re such a bad mother for feeling XYZ, I would never feel that way” or “I would never do that.”

That whole myth about how women judge other women and the “mommy wars” stuff is getting old. It’s not that women judge women, it’s that people judge other people. It is human nature to judge, we all do it. It’s not a phenomenon that is confined to any one gender. And yet the second a woman dares to make any comment that isn’t all sunshine and rainbows the comments about how “women are so catty” or “women judging women” come out. People judge other people, end of story. It has nothing to do with gender.

I don’t understand this, it is almost like someone felt the need to hijack this post to get symapthy for their own situation. I read the article, then I read the comments and went back to the article as I was sure that I must have missed something, but no.

The quote is: Although he’ll miss his ladies, Joel remarked that it will be made easier with technology on his side.

Not once in the article does it say that Nicole is stressed or upset or worried. The comment is that JOEL will miss his girls just like most dads do when they have to go away whether it is for a long time or not.

I agree with a previous poster who commented that Nicole can’t seem to win with this one, she gets blasted for the fact that Joel is going on tour without her, but if she did go with him and took Harlow, she would get blasted for that as well.

“One minute people are begging these celebs to be more open and share more of themselves with the public and then when they do, it’s CRITICIZE until the cows come home.”

Did it every occur to you that maybe the people who want to know tons of information are not the same people who think they’re sharing too much.

I personally think that Nicole and Joel seem too focused on what other people think. In every interview they seem to be trying to respond to comments made about them on the internet. It’s beyond me why they care what anyone thinks. If they know they’re spending enough time with their child then that should be good enough for them. The fact that they’re so focused on letting everyone know that they don’t go out that much (which is not true by the way) and that the baby is only with relatives (which may or may not be true) is very telling.

I remember pumping in the car at a wedding reception with my first child…a true indicator that times had changed!

But where in the article does Nicole or Joel ask for anyone’s sympathy? That is what I am wondering. No where in that article is Nicole saying that she is seeking anyone’s pity or that with her situation she should gain any more favoritism than someone whose family is in the military.

I can’t even comprehend how someone would read that article and feel the least bit slighted or upset. She is merely relaying her feelings and the circumstances regarding HER situation. Nothing more. She is allowed to feel sad and or a little nervous that he is going to be gone while she has a young baby at home.

I felt the very same way when my husband left for a two week business trip when my twins were nine weeks old. Yes, I was sad and a bit overwhelmed but never once in those emotions was I asking for someone’s sympathy.

Honestly, I sometimes think we as women just love nothing more than to sit back and bash others just for the hell of it. There always seems to be an attempt to one up the next person with, “Oh you’re such a bad mother for feeling XYZ, I would never feel that way” or “I would never do that.”

It’s madness. One minute people are begging these celebs to be more open and share more of themselves with the public and then when they do, it’s CRITICIZE until the cows come home.