Oliver Tobias and wife Arabella discuss parenthood; expecting second child
British actor Oliver Tobias, 60, and his wife Arabella Zamoyska, 34, are expecting their second child together in June. The couple have son Luke, 4, after whose birth Arabella suffered from severe postpartum depression and a nervous breakdown, and has since made great recovery. Oliver and Arabella talked to Hello! about the troubling times in their lives, but also of their joyous moments.
Oliver also has daughters Anjelika, 24, and Celeste, 20, with ex-wife Camilla Ravenshear; however, Camilla recently revealed that Celeste’s father is actually Julian Metcalfe, co-founder of the Pret a Manger chain of sandwich shops. The news didn’t make a difference,
It was an extraordinary event — and remains a very sensitive area for everyone involved. I still see both my daughters on a regular basis as there’s nothing more important to me than my family.
Click below to read about Arabella’s depression and how the family managed to cope with it.
On having another baby after severe postpartum depression:
O: No, [we cannot believe we are expecting another child]. Not at all. But that’s how life goes. It’s quite unbelievable and we couldn’t be happier. It’s fantastic. I’m very proud of Arabella for having the courage to make the decision to have another. I have the greatest admiration for her.
On turning a corner:
A: [I have,] certainly. There were times when I said to him: ‘Please feel free to walk away. I won’t hold it against you.’ He said: "Forget it — I’m not going anywhere."
O: They were difficult times, yes. That’s when one has to just tough things out. Things do eventually turn the other way.
On planning to have a second child:
A: Definitely. I didn’t want Luke to be an only child.
On worries that old problems may resurface:
A: Of course, that’s why it took so long for me to do it again. This time round I’ve got the skills to cope with things.
What made her seek help after Luke’s birth:
A: I had no choice. I was admitted to hospital suffering a nervous breakdown. When I came out of hospital, we decided it would be best for me to live on my own and continue therapy. Thankfully, Oliver is the type of father who could cope. He and Luke adore each other, so I wasn’t worried.
On coping as father and son:
O: It was hard work. It was a bit of a strange situation — a 58-year-old man and a two-year-old just muddling along together for five months. But we just got on with life. I even managed to potty-train him.
On feeling suicidal:
A: Yes [I felt suicidal]. But I knew I didn’t want to leave my son without a mother and Ollie without a wife.
On what brought about their reconciliation:
A: I got well. I was on good medication and had a wonderful therapist. And when you get yourself in to a better place and realize what’s important, like being with your family, it all falls into place.
On being in "the best place" now:
O: Yes, very much so. We’re very, very, lucky.
Source: Hello! Magazine, March 25, 2008 issue.
Thanks to CBB reader Carlie.
- Posted on Apr 2, 08 at 2:01PM
- Permalink
- 7 Comments
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Have there been moments during this pregnancy when you’ve worried that the old problems might resurface?
A: Of course, that’s why it took so long for me to do it again.
What, ‘a long time’? It took them a year and a half to get pregnant again and I’d assume that it didn’t happen on the first try so where is the long time in all this?
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
WOW. I applaud her for being so candid. Good for them to make the decision to have another, hopefully she will be able to enjoy herself and the baby this time around. He sounds like an extraordinary husband and father, how wonderful that she has such a strong support system in Oliver.
I wish them the best!
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Wow, that is quite an emotional story. I do wish them all good health and happiness as their family grows.
Funny though, I thought the same thing as Sanja’s post – how is that a long time? Particularly not when severe PPD is involved. I’m thinking that quote was taken out of context. Because Oliver too, when he was talking about how they coped during the 5 month separation, said he potty trained Luke. If Luke is 2, that couldn’t have been that long ago!
Sarah’s note: It’s how it read in the article, as a question/answer, but there definitely could have been more to the answer that they cut out, or the answer could have been worded wrongly. I edited this post to match our CBB formatting, so the question should be gone now, but the answer is still a bit off.
April 2nd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
That brought tears to my eyes. I have never heard of either of them, but they seem to really love each other and want to make a beautiful family life. I suffered from a mild form of PPD after my second daughter was born. I cannot imagine suffering from such a severe form as Arabella did. I hope all goes swimmingly for her after this delivery so that she can be there for both of her children’s milestones.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
You know, as to the “waiting” (or not):
Oliver is 60 years old- that’s getting a little old to be fathering children (even though it’s obviously possible). Maybe they originally planned to have one right after the other? If they originally thought they’d either try as soon as they got the go ahead, or within the first 6 months, then waiting a year and a half might *seem* like a long time to them?
Just a thought….
April 3rd, 2008 at 5:49 am
I don’t know, but in the interview Oliver says that he was 58 and Luke was 2 when Arabella suffered her nervous breakdown. Wouldn’t that make Luke about 4 now if Oliver is 60?
Sarah’s note: Yes! And that would make the other comment people were wondering about above make sense if Luke is 4 and not 2.
June 18th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
They have welcomed a 2nd son, Felix on June 11th …
source : http://www.olivertobias.co.uk/index.php?/news/felix/