A lot of “early intervention” methods are arguably abusive, and would be considered abuse if they were used on children who weren’t autistic. They don’t “cure” your child of autism so much as make her into a scared puppy, who does what she’s told because she’s afraid of being punished again.

Not all of them are this way — some training is helpful, because things that come naturally to normal people do not come naturally to autistic people. But some of these methods are pretty bad. They don’t respect autistic people as people; they just see them as broken. And they’re not broken — just different — but you might break them by “intervening” in the wrong way.

Your autistic child will never live the life that you lead, but it doesn’t mean that she can’t be happy. She’ll just be happy in her own way. Maybe it would help to find out what that way that she can be happy is, instead of trying to force her to become a child that you can be “proud” of because of how much she is like yourself.

And don’t think that her autism makes you a saint, or gives you carte blanche to do whatever you want to her. “Normal” kids can wreak a lot of havoc on your home and your nerves, and are probably a heck of a lot more likely to commit violent crimes, have premarital sexual encounters or do drugs. The Enron and AIG execs were “normal” people, and so was President Bush (or whichever politician you choose to despise).

Ask for the help that you need, and let people know when you’re hurting inside. But put your child’s needs first, and relate to her as a whole person, or neither of you will be happy with your relationship.

Elyse Bruce is raising awareness and funds for autism with her “Countdown to Midnight” CD. It’s got awesome music on it, and best of all, the money gathered DOES NOT go to Autism Speaks, an organization considered offensive to most autistics.

Pass the word.

Thank you so much for this post. Most of us in the autism community are working hard this month to not only raise awareness but to help build communities (like one of my new favorites, http://www.trusera.com/about) and help families that are struggling. Like the above poster, Jill, there are many families out there still just receiving diagnoses and floundering but there is help everywhere.

Thanks for taking time to do great research and get the facts right, many websites who are reporting on autism are not. And one of the most important things you stated is that you HAVE to get early intervention.

I think autistic children do need help, often intense help. Other children do too.

I don’t like the video “Autism Every Day.” They talk only negative in that video.

There used to be a video up called “Neurotypicalism Every Day” and I wish it still was – it was a parody of the Autism Speaks video and it was a good one.

But since it’s not up, let me suggest this. Go watch several episodes of Super Nanny to see how horrible days with neurotypical children can be.

It’s not just autism people, and some autistics don’t want to be “normal.” Go Google “neurodiversity.”

[-the prisoner had broken the jail to find freedom.In the free world
he found that he was still a prisoner] ..

–can i share these lines with u please[they refer to autism]–

“Expression in slow motion”..

Many lilies and hollyhocks
gerberas and chrysanthymums
scents of muffled up fancies flowed
musky wishful imaginings,flowered

and blossomed in the enclosures
of my mind.
A canopy of reason
to escape the acid rain

A hedge of hawthorn,
to resist being trampled upon
and that done,
a good ol’ garden gate,

which however,
those tresspassing thoughts
gatecrashed,
to mingle and congregate.

Somehow,
my hedge of hawthorn,
took a long long while
to find its full expression,

joked someone
is it autistic,
artistic,may be!
and yet i got drawn

to a moment, bygone
when a crown, the Christ had worn
of the thorns of hawthorn !../original/©2008 z.g//
web address/http://horizonnext.blogspot.com

Their mother got tired of the comments like “I wouldn’t let my child behave that way,” so she took action.

When she hears those uninformed, rude statements, she hands out cards with the web site for the Autism Society of America.

She also sent me this link to “Autism Every Day.”

It can open some eyes on what it’s like to live with Autism.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=FDMMwG7RrFQ&feature=related

Most autistic children do not live totally normal lives, even with early intervention, and my agency provides it.

However, that is not to say there is not hope or improvements.

I have 3 great children, one of which has autism. It’s a hard struggle some days, but it’s also one that I’d not change for the world. The only thing that I would change is the comments, the stares and the remarks that I get from total strangers when he has a meltdown, or talks to himself or any other “not normal” behavior he has. He’s NORMAL to me, he’s a great kid, and our family is blessed to have him.

My thing to anyone that has an issue with him or any other autistic child is walk a mile in their shoes, walk a mile in the parents shoes, and then pass judgement. If it’s not your child, then how do you know what the family goes through every day?

Thanks so much for posting this important issue on your site. My 13 year old son was diagnosed at 22 months old. It is slow going, but I have to say that I have been blessed with a wonderful so who has taught me so much about unconditional love. Cameron is a gift and I wouldn’t trade him for any “typical” child in the world.

Destiny – Autism is four times more common in boys than girls, with the current statistic being every 1 in 94 boys. We do not know why. Both of my children with an Autistic Spectrum disorder are boys. For more information, please go to http://www.autism-society.org.