CBB Exclusive: Chantal Kreviazuk’s pregnancy column: Birthing plan and baby boy #3
In her final column, Canadian chanteuse Chantal Kreviazuk, 34, who is expecting her third son with hubby Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace on July 15th, chats about her plans for the delivery of her next baby. With the birth increasingly imminent (she is already 1 cm dilated and the doctor felt the baby’s head last week), Chantal shares her thoughts on suffering pain and the way in which she wants to welcome her next son. The LA-based singer/songwriter is also mom to Rowan Michael, 4 ½, and Lucca Jon, 3.
For many reasons, I am going to be open to a completely uninterrupted natural birth this time. As I type this, I am, I believe, potentially starting some labor. The nights have been presenting a lot of good "ripening" for me, and preparing my body for the big event. In the past, my births were not intervened until I was about 7 cm dilated.
Coming from a really hospital-oriented background (I was in a motor vehicle accident at the age of 19, which sentenced me to a lot of pain/trauma and post-operative care), I felt really comfortable with the whole idea of entrusting any health issues to the doctors and the medical profession, as a result of the duration of time spent in hospitals, how much I was helped subsequent to my accident, and post-op care, which seemed never ending. I have also had an ovary removed — needless to say, between all ofthe hospital stays, my births, etc, I am quite happy in the hospital,with spinals and pain relief, etc.
Click below for more images and the rest of Chantal’s column.
A part of me has felt for a long time, regarding birth, that I have "suffered enough" due to my accident and all, and that the opportunity to have a civilized pain-free birthing experience was something that one should engage in, consider a privilege if not for the sole reason that we CAN have this!!! Wouldn’t women all over the world without access to this progress and modernization be baffled by us refusing it?
This birth and place in time for me is different. While I don’t want to make marriages with fictitious futures, or put up any disclaimers, the attitude that seems to have overtaken me this time ’round is profoundly different. It is my third baby, and I want the experience to be exclusive to him, receiving him into this world. It would be easy to be pretty casual going into my third birth.
Going in alone makes it rather special. Without intervention, a saline drip and epidural etc, things like engorgement and bouncing back in general, but more specifically healing in my lower back will be much easier, so I am told. In the past, due to my back trauma/history, the spinal caused a real setback for me.
I am pretty overwhelmed with the healing process after the babies come, even though my births themselves are really fast and simple. I feel very open to experiencing what the recovery will be like without any intervention. The other main drive I have for being with this birth, present for it 100 percent, is for the experience in itself; being in awe of my body and what it was meant to do, realizing the dream that is being a woman, and truly seeing the physical, spiritual manifestation of motherhood/womanhood; differentiating between pain, and fear; submitting to the experience; knowing that the process is perfect and that it works and leads to a beautiful and complete end/beginning.
My birth plan is to stay at home until I have to really concentrate, and then I will go to the hospital. I am not yet ready for a home birth. I am still way into the hospital. But, my health care providers and the hospital I am going to are open to every woman’s birth plan. I love to be alone when in labor, not spoken to or touched, so when it is time, my doctor can help me through the end, but otherwise, I am quite prepared to be in my own little world, not unlike a cat who goes off to a private spot to have her kittens.
I know what pain is. Labor is intense, but it is not orthopedic or dying pain. This I do know. I intend on observing my experience, and embracing it, not conquering it or distracting it, or fighting it. It is what it is.
Photos by Tessa Emery of Tessa Emery Photography for exclusive use on the Celebrity Baby Blog courtesy of Chantal Kreviazuk. Use elsewhere is prohibited. Photos shot in Toronto, Canada at 35 weeks pregnant.
Did your ideas about birth change with subsequent children? Please share your birth stories or experiences if you wish.
- Posted on Jun 24, 08 at 7:00AM
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- 33 Comments
June 24th, 2008 at 7:59 am
This was a great article. I have two children my daughter is 4 years old and my son 11 months old. Thankfully I was able to have a natural birth for both. This is something I am extremely proud of, something I did myself and something that no one can take away from me. Especially in todays society where everyone is so quick to medicate themselves. It was my goal to have a natural birth and I succeeded both times and am so glad I was able to do that for myself. It was no easy feat, especially the second time around as he was ’sunny side up.’
I agree with what Chantal says, yes it’s going to be painful but it’s not a dying pain – you will make it through. And once you do you will feel such an amazing sense of accomplishment – it is the perfect ending to the entire pregnancy process. A woman’s body can do extraordinary things and too often people don’t allow themselves to trust their bodies and let everything happen naturally.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:35 am
With my first I knew all along I was going to have the epidural. I think I kind of had the same attitude as Chantal…why refuse it if it is available. Well, the epidural didn’t even work so I pretty much felt all of the pain anyway so it was kind of pointless.
I am due with baby #2 in October and this time around I am planning on keeping a more open mind to natural birth. It’s funny because that has been the mentality of alot of my friends too…epidural with the first and then natural with the next children.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I was in the hospital for my son’s birth. I was completely open to letting them to whatever they wanted. When they told me they were going to speed up my labor i said ok but give me the epidural first (i came to the hospital 3centimeters dialated). I only felt one contraction. I was laughing and had NO pain the entire time. My son’s paternal grandmother said she had never seen such an easy birth.
I think i must be crazy b/c now for my next child i am looking into birthing centers, like the one in Roosevelt hospital in NYC. Although my first birth was painless i must admit when i see natural births the process looks a bit more intimate and i think that is what i want to experience. I am not looking forward to the pain AT ALL but i am looking forward to the overall experience.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:43 am
What a beautiful article with stunning photographs of her and her boys! I’m anxious to see what they name #3 as I love the names picked out for their other two children. I wish her the best in her delivery!
June 24th, 2008 at 9:40 am
I love this article. I’m due right around the same time as Chantal (and already dilated to at least 1.5 cm). I’ve been telling people all along that I’m staying open to the idea of a natural birth (and I’ve been getting a lot of flack for that, especially from people who have never themselves given birth or gone through labor). If I find that I can’t handle the pain for some reason, I’ll go for the epidural, but I want to try to go it alone. Women have been giving birth for centuries without drugs, the squat in fields and have their babies for goodness’ sake. Just my opinion, but I kind of feel like the epidural is the patriarchy’s way of shutting us up about the pain of childbirth.
June 24th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I had an epidural with my first baby. With my second I did not, not by choice at the time, but I would prefer to go natural again if I ever have another one. Just like Chantal was told, the healing was AMAZING! I felt great after the baby was born! I had so much energy and a lot less pain. Labor of course was painful and intense. But as soon as the baby was out, everything stopped. I was in almost no discomfort. The next day I was excited and wanted to see visitors. It was truly a huge difference from having a natural birth VS an epidural. I think that if Chantal can handle the labor, she will be extremely happy and surprised at how good she feels after the baby is born.
June 24th, 2008 at 10:27 am
What type of trauma is she referring to when she talks about the epidural & spinals?
June 24th, 2008 at 10:39 am
^ It sounds like she is just saying because of her previous back issues and surgery, the epidural and spinal stuff hits harder for her.
I liked what she had to say here. I felt the same with my births. With my first son, I was all for the epidural, but my wonderful midwife asked me to try to ride it out for awhile. I did, to 7 cm, and then did get the drugs. However, everything happened very quickly after that, and I remember being somewhat disappointed that I didn’t just finish what I started, so to speak.
With my second son four months ago, I left the epidural option open, but I asked my husband to keep psyching me up and reminding me that I thought I could do it myself. And I did! I’m not going to lie, the moment he crowned hurt like hell, but that was it – a moment. And like someone said above, I felt like superwoman within a half-hour after the birth, totally energized and happily visiting with family. It was a totally different experience.
I think if we do decide to have a third child in a few years, I would like to do the same again. Also, I can’t speak highly enough of my midwife, who was fully supportive even when my attending OB wasn’t. She and my husband really kept me focused on achieving the end result in a way that I wanted.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I was induced with my first – had a 10 hour labor with nothing for pain and it was painful because of the pitocin but I felt empowered to do it without drugs.
My second I waited until I was in active labor before I went to the hospital and was at 7cm when I got there and delivered 20 minutes later. wasnt hooked up to anything and it was again, amazing!
I am now 3 weeks away from being due with my 3rd daughter and am going to be doing a waterbirth in a birthing center this time. I am so excited to go through the whole process again.
I love going through it all and getting the reward in the end.
It’s such a beautiful experience! I’m hoping with our 4th child, to do a homebirth.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I am on baby number 3. I am so excited to have another c-section and the whole works. It is my only option and it is GREAT! I felt great after my other two births and didn’t feel in the least like ‘less of a woman’ because I could not give birth naturally. The drugs are a wonderful relief too.
June 24th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I had both of my babies naturally, with no pain meds, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I think Chantal’s attitude is perfect, embrace the experience, don’t fight it, it is what it is, and the recovery can be so much easier. Good luck to her!
June 24th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I believe that everyone is entitled to their own choices during birth. I just wanted to share my experience as I was getting the feeling as though people were saying using drugs means you fail at the birthing process though that message may not at all been intended. With my first, I had Demerol, I didn’t know what I was doing and was pushing wrong. I did not like the Demerol and though the birth was happy I don’t remember too much after they gave me the Demerol. With my second I did the natural. My contractions came one on top of the other with little to no break and I ended up passing out and having a grand maul seizure. I remember telling them I was going to pass out and than the baby coming out and that is it. With my third I had the epidural immediately when I reached the hospital as I was already at seven. It was the best labor by far. I was able to be relaxed and enjoy it and the pushing and baby coming out was an awesome experience for me. I loved it and felt awesome afterwards where as the other two I was exhausted after. Every woman needs to make the choice of what kind of birth to have no matter what anyone else says. No one is a failure for not giving birth drug free.
June 24th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Question for those of you who have gone the natural route with the help of the medical profession (hospitals and doctors). Have you found they frown upon your decision? Maybe not to your face but in general? Are they annoyed that you don’t want it rushed and then can’t “plan” on your birth happening before 5pm… or whatever?
And is it imperative that you have a midwife?
Does it matter if you have a man or female doctor, their support factor?
I don’t have children yet but I wonder about these things. Thanks.
June 24th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Michelle… with my daughter my dr. was very old school. He was SO supportive of my decision, he gave me tips for different ways to birth and told me all the things I could do for the pain. I was GSB+ and he even told me that he would let the nurses know that they could wait until I was ready to have my IV if I wanted it at all. Sadly, he couldn’t deliver her because he was out on medical leave but the dr. that did deliver her didn’t even come until it was time to push and everything went great.
With this pregnancy, I’m so early on and I have 4… yes 4 drs. My dr. retired and I am soo saddened to not have him. But I’m going to let them know that I want it as natural as possible, which includes nothing for GSB… hopefully I can take some stuff to help me be negative.
June 24th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
I just had my second baby 6 days ago and was induced. I did get an epidural, but it didn’t work on half my body, so they took it out and tried again and it still didn’t work! It seems I have some scar tissue from my first epidural so for my next baby I may have to go all natural in terms of pain relief. It does go by pretty quickly in the end and now, almost a week postpartum I am really regretting the epidural because I am suffering through some terrible terrible back pain! If it wasn’t for the back pain I would feel terrific! I would love a homebirth, but since I am considered high risk that option is out of the question, (unless I went unassisted, which my husband would not go for)
Good luck Chantal and I can’t wait to see your new little one!
June 24th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
birth is a very personal experience- i chose to homebirth (unlike chantel i dont like hospitals at all!!) for my last baby after only natural births i rememer thinking if i ever do this again i will get the drugs!!!!!
lol
the main goal is always healthy mummy hea;lthy baby-
cant wait to see her new little one!
June 24th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
I wanted pain meds but my labor progressed so fast that they didn’t have time to administer them. I felt amazing immediately after he came out. The recovery was quick and I never needed anything more than a Tylenol for aching muscles. I used Witch Hazel on my stitches and put it on my pad and I could have ridden a horse a week later.
Having been through it naturally (although not by choice). I definitely want to do it that way next time. I don’t look down upon people who want meds. I was one of them. But to know how it felt to do it without them, I think I will give natural a go again.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I always love reading Chantal’s writing!!
I enjoyed each of my 3 deliveries.
I, too, need to be alone in my labour (albeit in a hospital). Not touched or spoken to. I need to move around. Change my body position as the baby changes their position in my body.
The less people around the better. This way I am able to focus on my body and am able to breathe ahead of each contraction.
I don’t watch myself give birth. I can’t. I need to focus on what I’m feeling. Seeing it distracts me from what my body needs me to do.
Feeling the power of my body delivering a baby into the world is indescribable.
I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Good luck to Chantal and I hope she gets the birth experiences she desires with this lucky little boy!!
June 24th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I discussed my birthing plan with my husband, and we were in complete agreement, and we typed it up in a fairly large font and gave it not only to our doctor and midwife before delivery day, but to every nurse we had in the hospital and asked that a copy be placed in the chart. My husband was my advocate (which is important when you’re in labor – there’s a point when you will say “yes” to anything) and I had a natural delivery with no medications and no episiotomy. At one point, I did ask for an epidural (okay, I begged for it), but the nurse was so supportive of my birthing plan that she stalled me for 30 minutes … and by then I had my beautiful baby boy.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
The reason you feel so incredible moments after a natural birth is because you’re high on endorphins. Labor pain results in your body really upping your endorphins, and then, when the pain goes away, you get to ride the endorphin rush. You should have seen how goofy I was after 24 hours of back labor with no drugs! I had to have a spinal/c-section eventually because son number 1 was good and stuck, but boy was I floating when the pain went away.
My next I sucked back some nitrous because I freaked a little at how fast things were going (3cm to birth in less than an hour), but still got some of the endorphin rush.
3rd babe was 100% natural, still pretty quick (3 hours total labor) and wow, what a feeling. Yes, natural labor is hard, hence the name! But being able to walk, laugh, and practically dance out of the hospital 18 hours later is totally worth it!
June 24th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Michelle, I did not find my OB to be very supportive of my plans and with my first son, he popped in with the whole “you’re going to need a c-section unless the baby is out in the next 3 hours” thing. HOWEVER, because I was higher risk I did still feel it was important to have an OB I knew and trusted just in case — but I knew I needed extra support. That’s why I used a certified nurse midwife for the majority of my prenatal appts and for my actual delivery. Overall I was very happy with what I chose.
June 24th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
31 Years ago with my first son, I went natural until the pushing phase when I couldn’t stand it anymore and was given an epidual. I couldn’t feel a thing and was not able to push very well. I was threatened with the dreaded forcepts until I was able to push him out. Also had an episiotomy. Did the LeBoyer method in the dark in the OR though. 16 hour labor.
2nd son 30 years ago went totally natural. Had the baby in the labor bed. Doctor massaged the perinum (?) during the end of labor. No episiotomy. Little tearing. Also LeBoyer method as much as being in the labor room allowed (no overhead lights).
Back then we were to go to the hospital at the 5 minute between contractions time. I wish I had been encouraged to walk around for the duration of labor instead of being made to lie in bed the whole time, which I think drags out the labor.
I do always recommend going to Lamaze classes and learning how to breathe through the contractions. I coached 2 of my sisters through 4 natural births with just the breathing technique which one never ever forgets.
June 24th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
As someone who has gone through labour both with and without pain meds I can tell you that the hardest (most painful) part is pushing. Once baby crowns… OUCH! However, afterwards the recovery is soooooo much easier. I felt fantastic!
June 24th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I wonder what kind of bad experiences with “drugs” are out there? Do different hospitals use different drugs in their epidurals? Or is it just that everyone reacts differently?
With my first, my epidural only worked for 13 of my 24 hours of labor. I got the epidural early because I had to be induced and the pain from the pitocin-induced contractions was sending my body into shock. Although everything turned out fine in the end, I vowed never to end up with pitocin again if I could avoid it (unfortunately with that birth, I couldn’t).
With my second, I held off on my epidural until I was 4 cm, and then again the pain from my contractions was sending me into shock and my body temperature was falling significantly (no pitocin this time though!). I knew I wanted the epidural, so at 4 cm, I went ahead with it. My labor experience this time around was truly amazing. I was able to snooze lightly for about an hour and a half, and although the pain was greatly reduced, I could still feel everything- could even feel my baby boy coming down the birth canal.
Immediately following his birth, I felt great. I could walk to the bathroom (once I got the okay), was completely lucid and felt just amazing. I got a great night’s sleep and was up and showered bright and early the next morning! I definitely plan on having my epidural this time around too- for me the epidural allows me to be present and aware, and to feel what is going on, and my recoveries haven’t been compromised.
June 24th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Chattycricket, to my knowledge, the same drugs are used in every hospital for epidurals. Walking epidurals are made up of a different combinations of medications. But overall, epidurals are anesthesia, so different people will have different reactions. A spinal headache is the most common side effect, but can be fixed, and is due to spinal fluid leaking through the puncture site. It can be patched up.
Michelle, I chose a walking epidural for my birth. My doctor supported my decision, but really wanted me to go non-medicated, because that was his philosphy. He talked to me about why he felt I should try without medication, but supported me in making a different decision.
I was up and walking around in a very short period of time after giving birth and in the shower. I nursed right away, and left the hospital 24 hours later. My recovery was great!
June 24th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
My first son was a natural birth and I hated it. I would never do it again. I tore very badly and have since learned that I do not handle pain very well at all. I was in agony the whole four hours. And I’m lucky it was only four hours long. My second son I had an epidural for and while I still had significant pain it was not as intense afterwards and I felt much better. For me personally it helped me to bond with my child better because I wasn’t still in pain after childbirth. I greatly admire women who can go all natural and feel empowered by it. In fact I admire any mother that has a child however she has it, with drugs without drugs, c-section or natural.
Unfortunately for me I will not be having more children. The birthing process is a bit too traumatizing for me.
June 24th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Michelle,
I’ve had 2 different midwives (CNMs in practice with OB/GYNS (in 2 different cities) for my 2 hospital waterbirths. The first time I was in labor about 14 hours, and didn’t really notice that the water made much difference in the pain. The second time was only about 3 hours, and the water did help the pain. Both times, the midwives were very supportive of our birthing plans, and the staff at the hospital were all aware of them as well. My husband is a very good support and advocate, encouraging me to through the pain because I did have moments when I wanted the drugs, although I have friends who found having a doula very helpful. Apparently, when I was born (34 years ago), my mom had some problems with the epidural, so, to be honest, I was more afraid of that than the pain of giving birth! (I also have an RN license and Bachelor’s degree in nursing, so in that sense I’m a “well-educated consumer” and am very strong-willed when it comes to birthing. I only say that to mean that I may be better prepared to “stand up to the establishment” for the kind of experience I want than someone with a different background/personality, so a natural birth in the hospital worked pretty well for us.) I will not pretend that it didn’t hurt–it did, a lot–but for me, at least, it didn’t last too long, and I definitely felt empowered and “wired” after the births. We’re hoping to have a 3rd in the next year or so, and since we’re back in the same city where our first son was born, I’ll either go back to that OB/GYN practice (new midwife there, but I met her and really like her), or have a homebirth. Unfortunately, the aforementioned midwife is the only one in that particular OB/GYN practice, but she assures me that if the doctor (a male) were to be on call when I went into labor, he would be willing to deliver in the water. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that yet!
June 24th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
My baby was a preemie so they were trying to keep him in as long as possible when I went into labor, but my baby decided he wanted out no matter what they did to try and stop him, so after over 72 hours of all back labor, I feel the epidural and a calming drug before that pretty much saved my life….after no sleep and extreme hard back labor for over 72 hours, the epidural actually made the birth enjoyable and I had absolutely no problems, it went very fast and smooth and for a preemie, my baby was so healthy….and I was someone who had always said I did not think I would ever want an epi and was scared to death of the thought, but was open to it as I trusted my doctors and by the time I got it, it was a life saver!
If people can plan for and handle a natural birth, more power to them, but I feel you have to have an open mind as things don’t always go how you expect.
June 24th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
I had both of my children without drugs or intervention. One in a hospital and one at home. Labor was work but I can not imagine missing out on any of it or wishing for it to be over with or pain-free. Maybe I am odd in that I view it as an entirely biological and natural process. To block the pain and to give control over to someone or something else is like being driven through a marathon on a golf cart by a total stranger. One could technically say that they went the course, crossed the finish line and got the prize. So much of the joy and most of the lessons in life come from the experience of -doing- rather than from just getting something done and over with as quickly as possible.
Great article. Happy Birthing Chantal!
June 24th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I had my daughter at home, naturally. For me it was the most empowering experience of my life. Yes, it was painful, but it was so amazing. And once she was born the pain was gone. I was so glad to have a homebirth because I got to experience my daughter’s birth in the place I am most comfortable in, which helped me during the labor and birth. And another thing about birthing naturally, both my husband and I were amazed by what I had done. In the weeks after my daughter’s birth my husband looked at me in a way he had never looked at me before. I can’t really explain it, but to say it was total and complete awe. We were very close before our daughter’s birth but the experience definately brought us together in a new way.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:50 am
With my first I asked for an epi but they didn’t check my dilation before hand and she started crowning during it. The epi finally took after she was born, but only in my right leg. Just enough that I couldn’t stand for several hours. I hated the “natural” birth because I tore badly and was scared.
With my second I was induced because of pre-ecalmpsia. The pitocin contractions were intense and I asked for another epi. This one took all feeling away and I couldn’t push so they had to use suction. I don’t remember the experience much because I was loopy.
With my third I had another induction, but knew what to expect in the way of pain. Again, I asked for an epi, but since I was handling the pain better than others (it was a full house in L&D that day) I waited for the epi doc. Turns out the baby had other plans and came before the epi.
We would like one more child, and while I won’t rule out an epi, I no longer feel that I need one right away. I have now had two non-pain meds births and two inductions. I already know the fourth will be an induction because my labors have become increasingly shorter (6 hrs, 3 hrs and 1.5 hrs). I respond well to pitocin and have no recovery problems.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:03 am
I am with Abby – ANY mother, no matter how she gives birth is to be admired! I went into labor with an open mind – I hoped to do it without drugs and I knew that my OB/GYN and the hospital were supportive. But my contractions came much faster and harder than I expected and I was not getting any breaks in between. I asked for an epidural and it worked perfectly. I was still able to move and to feel contractions and to participate fully in the birth. The feeling was amazing when my daughter was born. I had a major tear and lots of stitches (she was over nine pounds!) but my recovery was very quick. In my experience there was no downside to the epidural at all. When I look at my daughter I can’t imagine that ANYTHING could have made her birth more special. The biggest help was my husband – with or without drugs I hope every woman has someone who loves her giving her whatever she needs, even if that means leaving her alone.
June 25th, 2008 at 5:34 am
I agree 100% with her wanting to do this… after I had my daughter.. it was a pretty um dramatic birth… I had to be induced, after 10 to 11 hrs of no drugs I ask for iv drugs and about an hour later when I Knew i was pretty well dilated I got an epi, man worst mistake! I could have done it on my own I think… after the epi I started having back labor that was so intense and my back was having so many spasms they overdosed me trying to make them stop and no amount of drug was making it stop. then after 20 hrs 10 cen. dilated. I had to have an emergency c-section… she wasn’t descending into the birth canal and showing signs of distress. so off I went and she came out just perfect… but now I am at risk if I decided to try to have a child naturally. To be safe I might have to have c -section for any other child I have and that is so unbelievably depressing to me. I listen to others experience and the their quick recoveries and I’m like omg I’m may not be able to have that experience ever… so I say go for it Chantal! I would if I could! I may even try to…