I don’t think it’s a matter of people being PC or people being too sensitive.

Adoption is far more commone and accepted today that it was a generation ago. We should all be making the effort to use approriate language when speaking about adopted childrem and their families. If it is often found to be offensive and hurtful to these families, shouldn’t we, at the very least, be making an effort to change our language?

Moving on…

In other news, I think Lance would be a great father!

I also agree with natasha.

how we use words is important and expresses how we view the world and others.

people often make the arguement that people are being too sensitive or PC about things like this, but if you put yourself in their shoes maybe you will realize it is a small thing to just change a word or two so that someone else, especially a child, will feel better about themselves.

Most people, until they get in to the adoption process, are not going to know the correct language to use….or even have an idea of all the perspectives that have led to changes in the language. Give people a break….they’re not being cruel, they just haven’t experienced it yet to know better.

Eh, I think too much of a fuss is being made about word choice over intent here. I can see asking about having children of “your own” in front of an adoptive child being bothersome to a child, but let’s face it, lots of words can hurt feelings.

The focus should be on establishing a connection with your children, regardless of being adopted or biological, and teaching them not to go through life being so affected by the words of others.

I also think children should know where they came from, adopted or biological. Openness and honesty can circumvent a lot of problems. Adoption IS a choice, and that’s a powerful thing, that you chose your child.

I agree with Natasha.I like Lance Bass,I admire his courage and the dignity he has demonstrated so far as a gay man in the public eye, it can’t be easy.So I don’t think he’s being PC incorrect or cruel, as I don’t think it of people who smile a huge smile at me when they see me with my child and say “How wonderful is that you can love little K. as your own”.I don’t get mad and up in arms accusing them of anything,but every time it happens (and it happens A LOT!) I correct them. “K is my own,we belong to each other just like you and your bio child is your own” and we move on with the conversation.

We’re jus trying to educate people on a matter that not everyone has experience with,like many mommies of special need children or blended families sometimes educate us about issues who are not familiar for others.

It’s not finger pointing or obsession,don’t roll your eyes in boredom just because you have heard it before,some people might actually appreciate the feedback.I know I would.

While I do understand your perspective Sarita, Phoebe and Renee, if you think that it isn’t painful for a child to hear his or her validity as a family member questioned then you are kidding yourselves. When a child looks at you and says, “Mommy why do people ask if you wish you had your own children?” And you find yourself explaning the ignorance of humanity yet again, then you can tell me that “PC” is overrated.

Yep Sarita, I agree too. Quite often, adopted children as opposed to genetic children of a family are planned for, prepared for etc more, simply by virtue of the fact that often, families have to go through more to have them.

I have one daughter who I gave birth to, but there are children in my family who came to be ours not through a genetic connection, but through a tonne of very complicated paperwork and a dedicated mummy and daddy who wouldn’t give up on them. Do we love them any less because they don’t look like us? Of course not. I always think of my siblings adopted children as little spirits who were always ours, they just went on a detour before they arrived in our family.

I realise, Natasha, that you were not personally ‘complaining’ so much about what Lance said, but there will be people who sit there and get offended by it, when really, it was just his choice of words, not his feelings on the matter. People need to stop being so sensitive and realise that the love a parent has for a child is the most important thing, not the way they chose to word their comments before their babies arrived.

I agree Sarita.

Here we go again, sit back and wait for the comments about adopted children being your own. It’s just a word people and everyone knows what he means with it. I wish everyone would be less sensitive, this PC thing is getting so tired.