Sound Off! How Long Did You Wait Between Babies?
 Flynet; Vince Flores/Celebrity Photo |
Deciding how long to wait between pregnancies can be hard. Some moms want to have children who are close in age, while others may prefer to take their time between babies. Health issues or age can often influence conception, and sometimes, these things are just completely out of our control.
While Campbell Brown just announced her second pregnancy — 10 months after she gave birth to son Eli James — Angie Harmon waited over three years to have her third child. Naomi Watts, 40, has said in the past that her age has played a role in the closeness of her pregnancies, with son Alexander ‘Sasha’ Pete coming up on 16 months old and baby number two due in a matter of weeks.
So here’s your chance to Sound Off! Tell us how you feel about time between pregnancies. How long did you wait and why?
- Posted on Nov 4, 08 at 10:00AM
- Permalink
- 131 Comments
November 4th, 2008 at 10:10 am
I waited 3 years between my first two and it was the right decision for me. I was a young mother and I think that by waiting, my patience was more developed by the time #2 came around. It was great to have a little helper with the second child and my oldest was more independent at that point as well.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:16 am
My husband I were suprised with a second pregnancy when our son was just 10 months old. They are exatly 19 mons apart to the day and even though they are boy/girl they are the bestest of buddies.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:19 am
I would have preferred to have my children a little closer together, but it’s not in my control. My daughter is coming up on 3 years old, and we have been trying to conceive since my cycle returned when she was 9 months. It took over two years to conceive her, and we have yet to get pregnant again in over 2 years of trying.
If I’d had a choice I would have chosen about 2 years apart, but sometimes it’s just not in our hands.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:19 am
My first 2 are 20 months apart and my baby is 5 years younger than the 1st. I think 3 years apart was great between the 2nd and 3rd but the 20 months apart was hairy! I can’t remember my oldest turning 2! It all flew by in such a flurry! I wish I had waited longer between babies so that I could have savored the moments!
November 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
i think i’m gona wait 3-5 years before having second baby. i remember how i didn’t liked and still don’t like being close in age with my sister. it always felt as if my parents didn’t wanted to take time with me. i don’t want me son to feel it
November 4th, 2008 at 10:20 am
I waited 3 1/2 years, my daughter turns 4 in february and my second baby will be born in april 2009.
) and she is already a “big” girl, I mean…no diapers, sleeps in her bed all night, eats without need of help…For me 4 years of difference is perfect because my family is far from where i live, and i don’t have any help at home.
For me is the perfect time to be pregnant again because my daughter is going to school so I have all the morning to rest a little (i’m 15 weeks pregnant and still have morning sickness
November 4th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Daughter: Feb 8, 2004
Twins Sons: March 29, 2006
Son: March 20, 2007
Blessing #5 due any day now!
so you see we didn’t wait long at all, 5 in less than 5 years, with the last 4 coming in 2.5 years.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Well you will all get a kick out of this. Mine are going to be 11 years apart. My daughter just turned 11 and I am 10 weeks pregnant.
Reason for the huge gap is that I had my daughter at 19. I needed to go back to school, get my career up and running, find time to meet a nice guy, married that nice guy, spend 4 years with that nice guy with it just being the three of us, bought a house with the nice guy, and now finally having a baby with the nice guy:)
November 4th, 2008 at 10:29 am
As Melissa said, sometimes it’s just not something you can control. It took us nearly 2 years to conceive our daughter, now 10 months. We haven’t really been trying, but not preventing either since she turned 6 months … so who knows how long we will have to wait or even if it will happen. Because we had issues, I think that is the main reason I feel we need to actively start trying for a second child ASAP. If I had a choice, I would prefer 2.5 years between children.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I am also one that had no control over our conception. I had my 1st when I was 19 and when she was 2 we started trying for our second. 5 years later we still weren’t pregnant so we did IVF and got our 2nd daughter. They are 7 yrs apart. That was hard simply because I was starting completely over. When my 2nd was only 5 mos old I found out I was pg again. That was hard because they are only 14 mos apart and they drive me INSANE (in a good way though
So I absolutly have no insight other that too far apart is difficut because you forget everything and too close together is really tiring. If I did get to have my own choice it would have been maybe 3-4 yrs apart. But I adore my babies and I couldn’t imagine my life being any less hectic.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:31 am
I am 6 years older than my brother and that age gap has worked really well for us. I think when I have kids I will have them farther apart, maybe not as long as 6 years, perhaps 5. I think we get along so much better because of that age difference.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I have a 6 year old daughter I am 6 months pregnant with a son I know that it’s a big age difference but my daughter is very excited I only hope that she will feel that way when her brother is here:)
November 4th, 2008 at 10:36 am
We have 3 children….Our oldest son is 16 and then our 13 year old son. We have a 10 month old baby girl and found out in May we are having our 4th child, a girl, due January 18th, just 12 months and 2 weeks apart from our youngest. We were surprised, but very happy and blessed.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:37 am
I understand why people have their children close together – it helps create a close bond between them and you get the family size you want along w/ the pregnancies over right away.. however I think when I’m blessed enough to have one – if I decide to have anymore I will put a little gap inbetween them. I want them to be close, but I personally feel like I want to enjoy my first one and be able to soak up the milestones and give them all that attention.. and then when they’re in school maybe I would consider having another one. My nephew and niece are like a year apart and while I know he is close with her I can see how much he craves attention from the rest of us because she is always busy with the youngest. Kids will always crave attention but I just think it’d be easier for me to actually give them that attention without worrying about not giving the other one enough.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:38 am
My first two are 18 months apart and my third is 4 years younger than the middle child. I like that the older two are close enough in age that they can play together and they are into most of the same stuff, but those first couple years were really hard. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited. The spacing of the third has been perfect. The older two can help or at least entertain each other while I tend to the baby, and I have time and energy to enjoy the baby in a way I really didn’t when I had two babies so close together.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:40 am
We started trying for another baby shortly before our daughter turned 2. Got pregnant after one try, but we lost our son at 33 weeks. They would have been a little over 2 1/2 years apart.
It took us a year to get pregnant again (January ‘08), but lost that baby at 11 weeks. They would have been 4 years apart.
I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant and if all goes well this baby and our daughter will be about 2 months short of being 5 years apart. Definitely not what we had planned, but you play the cards you’re dealt, right?
November 4th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I had my first unplanned at 20 and even though I was married it wasn’t planned and needless to say I decided my second baby was going to be. I wanted to have my oldest out of diapers before I started with another. I didn’t concieve the next baby until my oldest was 3 and they are exactly 3 1/2 years apart give or take four days. We are now waiting until my youngest is 6 to have the last. It gives me plenty of time to enjoy my girls and have fun before the worries of another baby is around. We can take them on vacations and just focus on them. I enjoy that.
A.J.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:41 am
I always wanted my kids to be close in age. However, I never planned to have them 37 minutes apart! lol So the twins have each other, and we’re waiting until they are 5 before having another. This way I’ll have five years with the twins, and then can have quality time with the new baby/babies when the twins are in school.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:42 am
4 MONTHS! Yep, my dd was 4 mos old when I found out I was pg again – needless to say, it was a total surprise and it’s been trying with two so close together, but now that they are 8 and 20 mos, it’s all ok.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:43 am
My oldest son and daughter are two years apart to the month. My daughter and youngest son are sixteen months apart. We made the decision to try for a third because I was 36 when my daughter was born and knew there were issues with fertility and baby health so we decided to have our third and last quickly. It worked out for our family. The children at 12, 10 and 8 1/2 for the most part get along great and are very close.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I know of 2 sisters that were born 10.5 months apart! The eldest’s birthday is 4th Sept and the youngest’s birthday is 14th July. So for 6 weeks of the year, both sisters are the same age! They were both in the same school year as well
The ideal gap is 2-3 years. Take Kingston and Zuma: Violet Affleck and yet-to-be-born sibling.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:49 am
My son is 4 years old now and I can’t imagine my life without him, he is such a huge part of it and I am so very proud and so incredibly blessed to have my son here with me. We have such a great and a priviliged life here in Paris. We go for bike rides everyday by the Seine and we play in Champs Elysees and we just have so much fun together. I love Pierre more than anything and he’s all I have. My favourite time of the day is in the afternoons when my son comes home from school and we choose what we want to do that day.
I know my son would love a little sister or a brother because as much as he loves being with me and his little friends, he does want to share his life with a sibling.
I feel bad because I don’t want to have another baby just yet although I am dating someone now and I am scared that I won’t love this baby as much as I love my son.
But as they say, c’est la vie. If it happens, it’ll happen.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Helen, i was two months old when my mum got pregnant with my sister! so we are 11 months apart.. hahaha we were also in the same school year..and i was 5 years when my second sister was born and 10 when my youngest sister was born..but i would have preferred if there was a bigger gap between me and my sister
November 4th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Daughter: May 4, 2006
Daughter: May 24, 2008
I think 2 years apart is great! My 2 year old loves to help out with her little sister and little sister loves her big sister and is just fascinated by her. I also like that I had my first at 18 and second at 20 b/c we’ll be close enough in age that when they’re grown I will still be around to be their friend at that point and I’ll get to see my grandkids, great grandkids, maybe even great great grandkids.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:00 am
There will be 18 months between my babies, it wasn’t really planned – it just happened and while some days I think we’re crazy most days I own being pregnant and love it. There was guilt in the begining but what is done is done and I’m excited my baby girl will have a playmate close in age.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:03 am
My sister and I are 23 months apart and my brother and I are 6 years apart. My mom always says that having my and my sister so close together was very hard. When my brother was born, I absolutely adored him; he was like “my baby” and that still holds true today. So I think a difference of 4, maybe 5 years will work for me.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am
I’m all for the 2-3 year gap. You are most likely at the point where one is potty training so you aren’t elbow deep in diapers on two kids for the next few years. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has a choice to make and that’s their perogative. I just prefer to have one kid almost ready for Pre-K before I go about adding another one to the brood.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am
We have 11 kids ages 19 years old down to 20 months….we don’t believe in contraception for religious reasons so every month we are always open to new life; we don’t “choose” how far to space our kids; it is chosen FOR us! The average ends up being 18 mos-2 years apart, with the shortest being 13 months and the longest 4 years…
November 4th, 2008 at 11:06 am
i waited 8 weeks – my daughters are 10 months 3 weeks 3 days apart! it’s crazy!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Hey
I have 2 younger brothers. I am the oldest by 3 years than my mom had the 2 boys 17months apart they were virtually raised as twins always wearing the same outfits and they have the same friends so it is good.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:16 am
son: august 23rd, 2001
daughter #1: may 12th, 2003
daughter #2: december 23rd, 2007
so roughly 19 months between the first two and 4 years between my two daughters. we weren’t even trying for our first daughter when we got pregnant but it was a beautfyl surprise :]
November 4th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I had four children in Four years! One passed. My first and second are 14mths. Second and fourth are 26mths.
Today they are 16, 15 & 13. I love that they are close and would Never have done it any other way…
They truly are Best Friends! They have everything in common and it helps that they can help each other in school!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Well my original plan was to have my children several years apart. I was thinking 4-5 years apart.
Then life happened and we had our children 20 months apart. If I were to have 4 children I would have liked a large spacing between #2 and 3 and then #4 soon after. BUT unless our situation changes we’ll only have 3 and I’m thinking #2 and #3 will be 3-4 years apart
November 4th, 2008 at 11:34 am
I am having a major debate with myself about this right now actually. Lol. Our first and second daughters are 2 and a half years apart. I really enjoyed the age gap, when Addison was born it was very easy for me to take care of both of them because Mya was already so independant. But now we want to have a third and I can’t decide whether 18 months apart will be to hard and too close, or whether I should wait a bit and have a slightly bigger gap. I just want to have this last baby and get it over with! Lol. But I’m thinking that 18 months apart between the last two will be crazy.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Child #1 (son): May 1997
Child #2 (daughter): September 2001
Child #3: Due February 2009
I had my first child when I was 19 and still in college, so my husband and I obviously wanted to wait a while before having the second one. #3 was certainly a surprise (but a happy one) and there will be a 7 year gap between my daughter and the next baby. I know my daughter will be a big help for me when the new baby comes so the larger gap will be nice I think. I’m still not quite sure what my son thinks of it all though.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am
My two girls are just over 19 months apart. It took us four years of trying before we had our first daughter. By then, I was 36 y/o. Right before her first birthday, my husband and I thought we should probably start thinking about trying for a second child as it had taken so long to get pregnant with our first.
Fast forward one month of trying, bam, second pregnancy.
They are now 3 1/2 and almost 2 and both love each other and fight with each other tremendously. I wouldn’t change a thing for the world.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am
i am 14 years old
11 year old sister
10 year old brother
9 year old sister
8 year old sister
7 year old sister
6 year old sister
one more on the way!
we all get along but we do fight and disagree alot!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:39 am
My son and daughter will be exactly 25 months apart when she arrives in Feb. We wanted more than one child and close in age since I am in my late 30s. If I was younger, I think I would have waited another year or two between them since being pregnant with a toddler is challenging. (Just kidding, I mean totally exhausting!)
November 4th, 2008 at 11:45 am
@ Amy:
I wish you all the best with this pregnancy!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:48 am
My son was 11 1/2 months old when my daughter was born, the doctor had told me that if I was breastfeeding i didn’t need to worry about birth control (WRONG!!!)
Though it was hard at the time, they are now 8 and 9 yrs old and I am glad I had them close together, totally worked for me!!!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:49 am
Idealy I had wanted mine 2 years apart. Didn’t work out that way though. I ended up getting pregnant with #2 a few months after #1 turned 2. I am actually so thankful for that now because 2 is still a baby and she (#1) was so helpful with the baby. I am now having #3 in January. So birthdays will be
#1 (girl) 9/2002
#2 (boy) 8/2005
#3 (girl) 1/2009
Roughly 3 years between all and I love the spacing!! Again, not what I initially wanted, but what happened and what is working great for us!! =)
November 4th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Our daughters are almost exactly 3 years apart. It’s been great, they are close enough to be friends as they get older, but far enough apart that they are going through their stages independently. We love it!
November 4th, 2008 at 11:53 am
twin girls
19 months later little boy was born..
10 1/2 months later another little boy.
November 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am
I have 3 children, each 3 years apart. I like this spacing by might have done 4 years apart if I could choose again.
I prefer my older children to be weaned, sleeping alone, and toilet learned. We practice extended nursing and sleep with our babies while allowing them to choose when they are ready to sleep on their own. That kind of parenting is easier with wider spacing.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
My second child is still growing in my belly, so I may not have as much experience in raising two children but here is my reason why we chose to have them when we did.
My son will be just shy of two years old when his little brother is born. (Side note: Can I tell you how thrilled I am to have TWO boys?!) We wanted to have babies when we were young. I am 25 and my husband is 28. We also knew that two kids was good for us. I want to be able to have a career outside of the home someday and having two children early and close together will allow me to do that. Plus at only two years apart and both boys, I’m sure they will be fast and good buddies.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
My daughter will be 3 1/2 when our next baby will be born. We decided that we wanted to wait until she was 3 or 4, and it happened right in the middle!
November 4th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Ok well we tried for 4 years to get pregnant with our first. We wound up using fertility drugs and were fortunate enough to have him. He’s now 7. When he was 3 we got pregnant spontaneously with our 2nd but we were so glad we didn’t have to use fertility help again. Then when our 2nd was 8 weeks old we found out we were pregnant AGAIN! Totally shocked because I was breastfeeding and since we weren’t so fertile to begin with I wasn’t too worried about it. So when I went to the first ultrasound I was VERY surprised to find out it was TWINS. So have a 7 year old, an almost 3 year old, and 2 year old twins. It’s been a heck of a ride but fun nonetheless.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
hee hee… my first two are 12 months apart: 11/27/97 & 12/4/98. I had another when they turned 3 & 4. I am now pregnant w/ #4. He’ll be almost seven years behind the youngest. So in toto, my age spans spans from 12 months to 3 year to 7 years… I’ll let you know who ends up getting along the best…
November 4th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
My kids are 2 years 9 mths apart ( I conceived 5 days before my son’s second birthday!) and so far this is a great age difference for us. I love that my son was old enough to “sort of” understand what was going on – now my daughter is 1 month old and we’re having some transition & jealousy issues, but he loves his sister like crazy and that’s all that matters!
November 4th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
I always thought that I would have my kids close together, like 2 years apart. Well time flew by and we just weren’t ready. Now our daughter is 4 years old and I am just pregnant with baby #2. They will be just under 5 years apart.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
#1(son)~May 3, 2001
#2(daughter)~Feb. 28, 2003
#3(daughter)~Dec. 20, 2004
#4 & #5(daughters)~Aug. 26, 2007
Roughly 22 months between 1 & 2 & between 2 & 3 ~ roughly 33 months between 3 & 4/5. And I wouldn’t have it any other way
November 4th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I have a 6 month old (who is my first) and plan on waiting until she is at least 3 before we try for another. We don’t want a lot of children and I don’t want to rush through the baby phase. Besides, I want to enjoy the time I have with my daughter right now – she’s only going to be little once and we want some good, quality time with her.
November 4th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
ours were:
#1(girl)-6/2000
#2 (girl)-1/2003
#3 (girl)-2/2005
So we went with the 2-3 years..I thought it ended up being a good spacing in age..they were each comming out of diapers as the next was born..Our youngest and last stopped using diapers last thanksgiving..its been wonderful…
November 4th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
My kids are 13.5 months apart. I love the age difference and don’t regret a thing!
It was very ironic. It took 2 years to get pregnant with #1, notsomuch with number 2!
November 4th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Ours are 22 months apart. We had a miscarriage and it took us 9 months to get pregnant with our first son. He was born 2/11/04 and when he was a year old we discussed trying again. I went to the doctor on March 15 and found out I was pregnant on April 10. 2nd son born 12/8/05. They are just now becoming “friends” and playing really well together. I wouldn’t have changed it for anything. Even being “knee deep” in diapers as Angie Harmon put it for the last almost 3 years.
November 4th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
My 2 daughters are almost exactly 3 1/2 years apart. We were aiming for 2 1/2 but we had 2 losses in between. So with that in mind, when we decided to try for #3, we started when #2 was 8 months old. Well, one month of trying and I am pregnant with #3. #2 and #3 wil be just over 17 months apart. We’re probably nuts but I’m not getting any younger and I know it can be done!
November 4th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
My children are spaced out randomly…
My son was born August 1995, then a beautiful daughter February 2000…she passed away six months later. Then another daughter November 2002 followed by a surprice set of girl/boy twins July 2006…now we are done!
November 4th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Ours our:
1)Boy (6 yrs)
2) Girl (4 yrs)
3) Girl (3 yrs)
4) Boy (18 months)
5&6) Girls- due in January
I love the spacing between our kids. They are thus far really close, and we love having them around the same age!
November 4th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
My biological two are exactly a year and 5 days apart…both weren’t planned & it was hard at first but now not so much. I’ve recently re-married and his son who lives with us just turned 1 so we’ve got nearly 3,nearly 2 and 1. It’s all fun lol
November 4th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I am very close to my son he is 5 years old and I have not even tried for a second child. My son and I do everything together, he even comes to work with me since I work at a school. He has said he would like a baby brother or sister and I’m sure maybe one day I will but as of now I like it just me and him. I am also afraid as another poster has stated that I will not love my second child as I do my son. There is also the fact that because my son was such a easy baby meaning : he did not wake during the night, I would have to wake him for feedings, he started walking at 7 months and he was potty trained at 2 and he’s very independent. Everyone has told me that my second child would be nothing like my first that it will be more needy won’t sleep or anything. They have scared me so bad that eveytime someone brings up a second child I change the subject. Who knows maybe I’ll change my mind or maybe I’ll leave it as me and my son. My husband wants another so we will see.
November 4th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
My brother and I are 6 years apart, and always got along really well as kids. My first 2 (both boys) are almost exactly 23 months apart (planned), which is mostly a good thing–it certainly was kind of hard in some ways, and yet they are (usually) best pals. We decided to wait a little longer for #3 baby, who is due next spring, making him or her about 31 months younger than #2. Depending on how life goes, and if God allows, we’ll probably have at least one more, and I’ll probably go back to a little shorter spacing, as I’ll be 35 when this one is born. I like the idea of them being fairly close in age, partly so they’ll (hopefully) be close to each other, and partly because I think I’d like to have the “baby phase” be done when we’re “done”, and move on to the next phase. We’ll see . . . .
November 4th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
I was born in November/1992 (today’s my birthday) and my sister was born in January/1995 so roughly about 2 years and 2 months. Then my youngest sister was born in June/2003 so there’s a significant age different of 10.5 and 8.5 years!
November 4th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Neither one of my kids was planned so it didn’t matter as to what I thought was the ideal age gap.
The day before my oldest was born, I turned 17, so after giving birth to him, I had absolutely no intention of planning out a sibling.
The funny thing is, I never actually considered having anymore. As a single mom, he was my entire world and we spent so much time together. I always felt like if I brought another one into the equation, I’d be cheating him in some way.
As fate would have it, though, I ended up getting pregnant again when my son was four. I didn’t know how I would juggle two kids without one of them feeling left out and at the time, I didn’t think I could love another human being as much as I loved my first, but four days after my oldest’s fifth birthday, I had my second son and now, can’t imagine my life without him.
November 4th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
If we have another, which is a big IF, it will not be until my son is 4 or so. Maybe start trying after his 3rd birthday. My pregnancy was ROUGH and I was sick the entire time and I don’t want to miss a moment of his milestones by feeling like crap!
I have a sibling who is as crazy as a loon (my sister – she is 3 years older) and we were NEVER close and still aren’t now. Having a sibling can sometimes be highly overrated.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
DS/DD on 9/2002
DS on 10/2003
DD on 5/2007
DS on 7/2008
Our twins were planned and took 3 years to concieve. I had wanted 3-5 years between babies. DS #2 was a complete suprise! We wanted four kids so we adopted DD #2 thinking we were done. DS #3 was a welcomed suprise. Our life is choatic with five kids 6 and under but I would not have it any other way. The older three are great helpers with the babies which I think strengthens their bonds.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I had my first two – a boy and girl – 18 months apart. Then, we waited five years, and had two more – a girl and boy – 18 months apart.
I love our big family and the kids have a ball.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
We originally wanted our kids to be about 4 years apart. But got a suprise when our first was 3 months old. Our first 2 are 11 months and 6 days apart. And and 2nd and 3rd are just under 2 years apart. So 3 under 3. After we had our second, we decided if we’re gonna have a 3rd, let’s go ahead and have them all close together. And I couldn’t be any happier with the decision.
Dates
son 10/08/05
daughter 9/14/06
daughter 9/10/08
November 4th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
My brother and I are 20 years apart! my mom had me when she was 19 and then had my brother at 39. I am now 26 and he is 6!! Hes the cutest thing, and I love the HUGE gap!!
November 4th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
When deciding when to have another baby, why don’t women think about the health of the second baby? Medical research has stated many times that it is best if the woman can wait 2 years from when one child is born and when the next one is conceived. I personally think that it is selfish of women to think about having two very close together because they want to, or because they want them to be able to play together. Join a playgroup. Do what is best for your children and wait.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
My boys are two and a half years apart.
November 4th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
My daughter will be at least 6 before I have another one. My preference would have been 2-3 years between kids but it’s not up to me
November 4th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
My twins are exactly 2.5 years older than my youngest.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
WELL i have 6 kids and they are born pretty close together
Arianna-8/16/01
Demarco-6/24/02
J Ryan- 9/19/03
Maleah- 1/6/05
Celia- 5/12/06
Tarina-12/18/07
And we have a baby boy Due 2/27/09
I LOVe haveind my kids close in age except they are a handful haha and we are drawing a HUGEEE blank with name for this baby!! If anyone has any names please let me know!!! They would have to kind of fit with my other kids names! Thank You guys!!!!
- Marie Mommy of 6
November 4th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I had my son when my older daughter was almost 3. I then had my second daughter when my son was 21 months in July. I definitely think the age difference between the first 2 was easier. Having that extra year between them got my daughter out of diapers, off the binky, and a little more able to occupy herself. I really love the age differnce between the girls! My oldest now loves to play mommy and helps out with all the baby things, and wants to change diapers(seriously!) and get the bottles. She walks her sister around the house (with supervision) and sits and plays for hours with her little brother too. It was also hard to explain to my son about the baby coming and he didn’t really adjust very well at first, since he is just barely out of babydom himself. He’s doing great now though, and I’m hoping their close age will help them bond as they get older.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Our first is due in a few weeks. We want to wait about 2 years before we have another one. Its not about having friends to play etc. Its about adjusting. 1 year to adjust with having a little person around, another year to adjust to buying a new house. Also, for me its financial also. I would like to work another year to be eligible for mat leave again.
A friend of mine is pregnant now and if she wants to have any more kids in the future she has to do it next year right after this one because of a medical reason.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
My husband and I were “surprised” by our second pregnancy when our first son was only 6 months old. We had tried and tried to get pregnant for over a year and then tried artificial insemination and lots of different drugs twice. The second round worked. Our OB/GYN announced that when we wanted to try for another child, we’d start the whole process all over again…well, we didn’t have to. We’re now the proud and very tired parents of two boys: one is 4 and the other is 3. Sometimes, all I want is chocolate cake!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I have 3 sisters and here’s the age differences: There’s 9 years between me and my oldest sister, with two in between. The oldest is 2 years older that the second, then she is 3 years older than the third and she is 4 years apart from me.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
My first two sons are 19 months apart. I loved being pregnant so much the first time, that we just let it happen on it’s own. They are great playmates and best friends. Baby boy #3 will be almost 6 years younger than my oldest, and 4 years younger than #2. I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy, my last, as much as possible, and I wanted my older boys to be able to enjoy it too and be excited. I’m getting a little nervous about getting back into “baby mode”, but I’m looking forward to seeing my boys be awesome big brothers!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
I had three babies in exactly three years. Wouldn’t have it any other way!!!
November 4th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Daughter April 2003
Son November 2004
Daughter July 2006
All 3 are 19 months apart, we went for 18 months becasue my hubby and his brother are 18 months apart but we got 19. So we were close enough lol.
I really loved this age gap, all 3 are best of friends and love eachother dearly.
November 4th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I have three they are all three years apart.17, 14, 11. One in diapers at a time is what we were going for. My oldest are girls and they are glad that they got to experience having a baby in the house. And so, it worked out well that the boy doesn’t want to be around a baby ever (for now!)
November 4th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
My brother and I are 7 years apart and that was a HUGE age difference growing up. So I wanted my children to be about 2 years apart because of the age difference between the 2 of us (we weren’t as close as we could have been if it weren’t for the fact of 7 years between us). My daughter is now 8 years old (Sept 2000) and my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant since January 2002 and haven’t been able to, he’s not the biological father of my daughter we got together when I was pregnant with her.
Like I said my ideal age difference would have been about 2 years apart. < ----- I personally didn't succeed in that though LOL ......
November 4th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Daughter: 12-17-2000
Son: 9-5-2005
They are almost 5 years apart and it has worked out very well for our family. I was able to do alot with my son like I did with my daughter. We really want to start trying for another one.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
I have a 2 year old boy, Maxim (Oct. 15th, 2006)& we are currently trying for a second (starting the 2nd month).
I wanted to wait until my boy was 2 before trying. I wanted to enjoy him fully. Now I feel that when the new baby will be born he will be old enough to understand & help me. I just hope that i get an easy baby like my 1st.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I wanted to have about 2 kids when my husband and I got married, so 11 months after having my daughter, I became pregnant with my son. And 11 months after having him, I got a suprise pregnancy with my daughter who is 9 mos old now, and we just decided to have another one, and now I am pregnant with our fourth! So my first 3 are 20 mos apart and this one will be about 17 mos apart from my youngest daughter. I like having them all close in age for their sake, because it gives them a chance to be really close to eathother, but on the other hand, I have no idea where time went. So there are good and bad things to having them so close. But I wouldn’t have changed it for the world!
November 4th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
GENESIS 2YRS 2/22/06
JULIUS 1YR 9/28/07
BABY DUE 4/27/09
AND I LOVE IT THE WAY MY CHILDREN INTERACT IS SO PRECIOUS!!! I MEAN AT TIMES ITS HARD BUT I WOULDNT CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD, NOW THEY CAN GROW UP TOGETHER AND SHARE LIFE. I JUST THINK ITS A BLESSING BEING A MOTHER
November 4th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
My children are 3 years 3 weeks and 3 days apart. Brody is 3.5 years and Av is 6 months. 3 years apart works well for us.
November 4th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
It took me a year to get pregnant with the first and I was 34 years old. So we started trying when our first was a year old…but it only took about a month. So our sons are about 21 months apart. I wouldn’t trade it for the world! They play so well together, which gives mom that occasional break. We wanted a little more distance between the 2nd and 3rd child, so we waited until the 2nd one was 2, but once again it took us a year to get pregnant! So there will be 3 1/2 years in between (baby due in January…2 weeks before my 40th!). Now that the boys are 3 and 5, they are the best little helpers!
November 4th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
My first two are 3 years 4 months part and I’m pregnant wth number 3 and it’ll be born when my youngest is 3 1/2 years. I like the age difference, my oldest was independant and potty trained before his younger brother was born.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
i’m pregnant with our second baby – my son just turned 1 on sunday! we feel very blessed to have had it work out this way – we wanted our kids to be close in age and are lucky that we didn’t have any fertility issues this time around. i really feel for the women (and men) who feel pressured to ‘pop out another one QUICK’… it doesn’t happen that way for alot of couples. anyway, this pregnancy is going great so far (3 months today) and i cannot wait to meet this little one!!!
November 4th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I have 4 children
Zachary sept 97
Dylan June 01
Travis Feb 05
Vanessa sept 07
The gap between Zach and Dylan is 3 years, 9 months and between Dylan and Travis is 3 years, 9 months and between Travis and Vanessa is 2 years, 8 months
November 4th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
My mom had to definitively plan out her pregnancies because she had endometriosis and the doctors said it would be a miracle if she got pregnant at all…So she had
my sister Holly on 12/3/87
my sister Chelsea on 4/3/89 (yes, exactly 16 months apart)
and then me on 6/15/92
She said when we were really little, it was hard because she was a stay-at-home mom and having two toddlers and a newborn was hard, but once we got in school it was better. And now, Holly’s a junior in college and I’m a senior in high school, so she’s almost done! PERSONALLY, I didn’t like it because since Holly and Chelsea were so close, they always used to gang up on me.
I want to have 4 kids, each spaced about 2-3 years apart, but we’ll see.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
There was a large age gap between my sisters and I. My sisters are 8 and 6 years older than I am, and 10 and 8 years older than my brother, is was 2 years younger than me.
When I had kids I decided I wanted to have them all at once. It’s, at times, hard, but it got better.
son (august 25, 2002)
son (july 28, 2004)
daughter (july 28, 2004)
daughter (april 14, 2006)
son (january 15, 2008)
November 4th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
My brother is 19 months older than me and we have an amazing bond… I followed him around in my early years and idolized him.. he taught me everything as a kid and we were always ready to give each other advise about the opposite sex particular in adolescent years.
I loved our age gap, but my parents found it pretty hectic and say that ideally they would of waited longer between us.
I think the most important thing is that each child receives the most love and attention their parents can give to them, especially at a very young age.. i know that my parents and extended family gave us that and it worked out just fine. My brother and i have been a great support system to each other particularly through our parents divorce, i couldn’t imagine not having someone so close in age around.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
My first son was born when I was 35. I got married when I was 40, and after 5 weeks of marriage I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. That was the greatest wedding present! My second son was born in April, 1996. My first son was almost 5 years old at that point. I wish the age difference was a little closer than it is, because my older son had a hard time accepting another baby in the picture since he got all the attention before his brother was born. They do love each other a lot and are now 12 and 17.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Sometimes life throws you curves when trying to space children. My first two were spaced exactly 3 years and 1 week apart. I never had a desire to have 2 in diapers. I only intended on having two. My third was born when the older two were 10 and 7. He was a very pleasant surprise, after which my husband had a vasectomy. Then he died. I remarried a never-married bachelor and we decided to have one of our own, with two teenagers and a young son in the home. We lost a set of male/female twins when our daughter was 7 (I was 42). Now, we are adopting a one-year-old whose mother is a friend of my older daughter(my second child). We have a preteen daughter and a son in college, along with 2 adult children. My firstborn son is engaged, no children, but my daughter is married (25 years old) and expecting her first child in May. I think larger spaces and keeping a small child in the house keeps you younger longer. I am facing grandmotherhood and raising a toddler at 47 years old, but no one believes I am over 35. I just look, feel, act and live younger. The big spaces inbetween my children actually helped in my large family. I never had too many in daycare to work, and the older ones adore the younger ones and honestly helped raised them. My 25 year old calls her 12 year old sister her “baby” and spoils her more than I do. My sons are very close, despite the 10 year age difference (18 & 28) and spend alot of time together. I expect our new baby and our new grandchild will grow up very close. I would not change our family set up at all.
November 4th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
“My son was 11 1/2 months old when my daughter was born, the doctor had told me that if I was breastfeeding i didn’t need to worry about birth control (WRONG!!!)
“
dear lord, why are doctors still giving out this misinformation??
November 4th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
3 years is a good gap to me. At 3 a child is over the baby stage and usually more independant, has a better concept of time and waiting and usually able to play by him/herself for some periods of time. Obviously every child is differen’t but I’m talking generally. From experience age gaps makes no difference to whether children will be best friends or squable it’s all about personalities.
November 4th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Neither of ours were planned, but I couldn’t have had them planned any better. They are 2 years and 9 months apart (conceived #2 on the oldest one’s 2nd birthday). They are now 7 and almost 5. We started trying this summer for baby number #3. We were successful the first time we tried, but lost the baby. We are currently waiting for my body to get back to normal so that we can start trying again.
November 4th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
My mum had my sister (the eldest) and then my brother (the middle child) 20 months later. I turned up just 11 months after my brother (I am the youngest). I always missed out growing up because my siblings were still only babies themselves when I came along. For that reason, I would never have an age gap of less than 2 yrs to give my kids a bit of time to be ‘the baby’. My sister and I aren’t close. My brother and my sister aren’t close. My brother and I are very close. I think that rather than based on age gaps, whether you have a good relationship with your sibling or not is more about personality and not age gaps. So anyway, my kids are just over 2 yrs apart.
November 4th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I just want to say that this thread has given me more confidence in our situation. My daughter is 2 (almost 26 months) and we will be waiting a few more months before we even start trying for a second. Ideally, I would have loved to be pregnant already, but because of life circumstance it’s not possible. I have been feeling kind of down about how far apart my kids would be (if I even can get pregnant right away). But it seems there are very happy families with a variety of age differences. That’s great!
November 4th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
There is exactly four years between my 2 boys. I had my first at 28, then my second at 32. My oldest was just turning 4 when the baby was born, he was just independant enough for me to be able to take on caring for another baby. So I only had one in diapers at a time. Whew! My first was so high maintenance, it took me 4 years to warm up to having another one, who turned out to be a breeze! I was closer in age to my sister (2 1.2 yrs) when growing up, and we are still very close, but the 4 years between my boys worked well for me.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
June 7, 2005
November 30, 2006
and Im due
March 28, 2009
So, 17 months 3 weeks with the first 2 and 2 years 4 months-ish with the others… and I love it
November 4th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I don’t have any kids but in my family it is an interesting separation:
between 1 & 2 there is 11 months and one week (they are the same age for 3 weeks)
between 2 & 3 there is 3 years
between 3 & 4 there is 2 and a half years
and between 4 & 5 (me) there is 7 and a half years (I have two nephews closer to me in age then this sister is.
*There is 14 years 3 and a half months between me and the oldest.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
3.5 years between my daughter and the next one. My daughter is 3 in 16 days and my second is due in April. Reason for the gap is my daughter has a different father. My fiancee and i also suffered a miscarrige in June. if that baby had live there would only be 3 years between.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Ideally, our children would have been 2 – 2.5 years apart. UNfortunately, we have had trouble conceiving our second child, so our children will be at best 3 years apart. It’s not much, but when the children will be raised 3 school years apart, it begins to make them split.
I was 4 years behind my brother, and all 4 kids in my husband’s family are 6 years apart. I envy the closeness of his siblings, and although my brother and I love each other, we never related because we were always in separate phases and had completely different interests.
I pray that I might have another baby… but I worry that having another so far from our first will be a disservice to both children.
November 5th, 2008 at 12:26 am
I have a huge gap with my girls. Not by my choice. I had my first baby young and waited some time before number two. Waited too long for number three, and was diagnosed with blocked tubes so gave up hope for number three. She miraculously appeared 12 years later after no birth control. hee hee I delivered my third daughter right before my 42nd bday. Did I mention that I have two grandkids? We have been trying to decide if we want to try again. If so, it will be soon as my window of opportunity may be closing soon, if not already closed.
Daughter (March 1984)
Daughter (October 1993)
Daughter (May 2008)
November 5th, 2008 at 12:39 am
I have three girls who are 5 1/2yrs, almost 3yrs.,and 6 months. 2 1/2 years has worked well for us, but has also kept me VERY busy. Plus, can you imagine when they are 18, 15 1/2, and 13? I’m sure we’ll have another in a couple of years. We want to be done by the time we are 30, and I’m 27 1/2 right now.
November 5th, 2008 at 2:53 am
My daughter was nearly 5 when we had our second daughter, then we had our son when she was 3, They are nearly 15, just turned 10 and just turned 7.
I really wish I did not have that much of a gap, but we did not plan it that way, its just the way things turned out, there were a few miscarriages in between.
The age difference is really hard for my teenager now, the two younger ones make her life hell.
November 5th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Mine are almost 5 years apart and I love it! My son is now 7 and my daughter is 2 and it’s worked really well for us! The main reason we waited so long was my hubby started his own business when my son was 2 and we didn’t have maternity insurance. He finally got a full time job for the benefits and I literally found out I was pregnant 5 days before his benefits kicked in! I do want more and don’t want to have them quite so far apart. My son is a huge help and she is his little shadow plus since they are further apart there is no fighting just loving on each other. The best part is my son is in school now so I get all that alone time with my daughter each day.
November 5th, 2008 at 9:12 am
My son is 7 months-old and my Husband & I don’t plan on trying to conceive for another 3-4 months. We are both working full-time and want to give our son the most of our time when we’re at home. However we would like our children to be rather close in age and we both think that a two years gap is the ideal. That’s what works for us. I think we all have our own ideas about what age difference would be the best for our children and as long as we do what we consider to be right for our family, it’s all that matters.
November 5th, 2008 at 10:28 am
11 years. The second was a suprise. A HAPPY suprise mind you, but a suprise nonetheless.
November 5th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
NO MATTER HOW FAR APART PARENTS DECIDE TO HAVE THEIR CHILDREN, DO NOT ASSUME YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE CLOSE JUST BECAUSE OF THE AGE FACTOR. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY THAT IS AND ALWAYS WAS CLOSE-KNIT, YOUR KIDS & KIDS KIDS WILL BE AS WELL. IF YOU ARE A FAMILY THAT IS DISCONNECTED, SO WILL THEY.
CHILDREN LEARN FROM EXAMPLES FROM THEIR PARENTS. IT’S LIKE THAT “CIHLDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE” POEM.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
There are 17 YEARS between me and my brother and sister (twins). They are now aged 2 years, I am 19. No current plans for starting a family but I would like a gap of around 3 years between children.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
My first two are 16.5 months apart. #2 and #3 are 23 months apart and #3 and #4 will be about 27 months apart. I actually preferred the spacing between #1 and #2 and am worried about the bigger gap between #3 and #4. That being said, #1 and #3 are about 39 months apart and they play really well together. I do not feel that I gave #1 any less attention or missed his milestones, but I am also lucky that I have easy kids who all love each other and get along well.
November 5th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I’m nineteen and half and my brother is 12 and my sister is only five, I have a very close relationship with my brother but my sister, i don’t talk to her or hang out with her, it is almost as if she’s the next neighbor’s girl. I prefer if parents have siblings closer as there is a 7 and 14 year difference between us (and note we all have the same parents)
November 5th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
My Husband and I conceived our second child When my daughter Was a little over a month old.
November 5th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Our daughter is 20 months old. We would like to move to a larger house and get her potty trained before having another. I think our ideal spacing would be 3-4 years apart.
November 5th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
I have a nine month old and am almost 4 months pregnant. It took us a year to become pregnant with my eldest. I was exclusively breastfeeding him. My husband and I had decided to use barrier method BC when we resumed relations when he was around 4 months old (it took me a while to recover from my emergency c-section). When he was 6 months old we decided to stop using BC because we wanted another baby close in age to our son and we thought it would take at least another year to conceive because a) it took us a year to conceive him, and b) I was still nursing. We were wrong! We got pregnant again on the first try!
Well, now I am thinking of weaning earlier than I originally wanted to (one year) because I am so tired and a little worried if the new baby is getting enough nutrition. My son is still nursing about 6 times a day.
I’m also a little nervous about having two so close in age. I’m sure it’s going to be very hard until my son is in pre-k or at least potty trained. In the long run though, I think it will be great for them to have each other as playmates who are into the same things at basically the same time and only one year apart in school. My sister and I are only 18 months apart and have always been very close.
November 6th, 2008 at 8:08 am
I have 5 children.
Kameron 5/96
Kaia 9/99
Daniel 3/04
Dannah 10/05
Daria 6/07
I was a young mom with the first child, so waiting was nice. Once I got a little older, I wanted to still be an active mom, so I figured I should hurry a little. I wanted to be done by the time I was 30 so that I would still have a lot of life after the kids to enjoy with my husband!!!
November 7th, 2008 at 7:52 am
I waited 6 years. That wasn’t the plan, but with a military man as a husband…
November 7th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
i’m just the gatekeeper, not the keymaster… if it were up to me, we’d be pregnant again already! my boy was born 11.09.06 & i’m still looking forward to the next one. no more after that, though. i only want two.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Mine are going to be 10 1/2 years apart. My son just turned 10 and I am 15 weeks pregnant now. I was only 17 when I had my son, so that was a large contributing factor to the gap. I would like the next one to be at least a two year gap.
November 7th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
My kids are 9yrs 2mos apart. My son was born right after I turned 21, so I wasn’t really thinking about another. My daughter was a complete surprise! Someone pointed out I’ll have one starting high school and another starting kindergarten.
My daughter is now 18 mos and is in love with her older brother. He walks in the door after school and she screeches like a teenager at a concert.
November 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
My first two (boy then girl) are 18 months apart and there are 26 months between number two and three (both girls). I don’t think there is a right time to wait between two girls they will hate each other no matter what. Then there are 5 years between my 3rd and 4th who is a boy and pretty much an only child with my 3rd one being 17 the baby is only 12 and that is a huge gap. On the bright side it easier to spend quality time with him because at 21,19, and 17 mom doesn’t exist except for money, food and laundry so I can give him the time he needs with me. I guess there are pro’s and con’s to every situation. I was 21 months older than my little brother and we were extremely close, but my kids are only beginning to learn to like each other as they grow up, except for the baby they still despise him most of the time but he usually deserves it.
November 8th, 2008 at 12:54 am
Well I have 5 kids Luke age 6, Grace and Isabelle age 4,Wyatt age 2 and Ava who is 2 weeks old so my kids are almost exactly 2 years apart and that seems to work well because they can establish a close connection with each other but also not to close.
November 8th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
My first son wasn’t planned so I waited a while before I had my second son. When I got married I had my second son almost immediately & then once he turned 10 months, we got pregnant again with our 3rd son. Together my husband & I have 4 children, they are all boys, he has a son from a previous marriage. Their ages are 11, 8, 2 & a half & the baby will be 1 in one month. I am outnumbered & the princess of the house. We are done having babies!
November 9th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
My first two are 16 months apart and then the 2nd and last are exactly two years apart. So at one point I had three children under the age of 3 1/2, but I would do it all over again. It can be hectic at times, but I always wanted my kids to be close together in age. I am a twin, so I always liked having a sibling so close. I think it is a personal decision on the space between children…because it can be very crazy…not everyone is programmed to held that craziness.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
My son is 20 months and my daughter is 8 months. They are exactly 11 months 3 weeks apart. Obviously this wasn’t a planned pregnancy, but a blessing none the less. We want another baby, but this time we are waiting probably about a year or so.
November 10th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
My mother was quite long in the tooth 38-41 when we were born so she had to have us quickly. It has its good points and its bad points.
December 25th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Son: February 4, 2003
Daughter: January 1, 2006
Daughter: March 7, 2007
Baby: due March 22, 209