Campbell Brown: ‘It’s Not Possible’ to Do It All
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While moderating the 2008 Presidential Debate in Austin for CNN, Campbell Brown was the very definition of calm, cool and collected. “It was a lifetime dream for me coming true,” the 41-year-old television journalist recently noted during an appearance on Julie Menin’s Give and Take talk show. Little did Campbell know, however, that just hours after the debate she would suffer her first real meltdown of new motherhood.
Having welcomed her first child two months before, Campbell had been shipping her breastmilk back to New York — but disaster was about to strike. “There was a snowstorm or something and the FedEx flight was delayed. The milk didn’t make it and my husband had to give the baby a bottle of formula,” she recalls. “I was crying, literally, in the airport.”
“I couldn’t believe that something had fallen through the crack. I hadn’t thought of every possible scenario to cover myself and, ugh, the baby was going to get a bottle of formula. I just stopped for a minute and I thought, ‘I’m losing my mind. Stop obsessing over this stuff or you’re going to make yourself crazy.’”
Campbell — whose best piece of parenting advice is to keep a sense of humor — says her mood was instantly lightened. “I went from sitting in the airport crying, where I’m sure people were walking by thinking, ‘Who is this crazy woman?’ to laughing out loud at myself at how ridiculous I had become in trying to do it all,” she says. “It ain’t happening; it’s never going to happen; it’s not possible.” Now that she’s a mom of two, Campbell says she’s learned to relax — as well as learned to accept that “there’s no such thing as balance.”
“It’s so much easier and so much more fun. Because you finally do realize that you can’t do it all. Formula is fine. And sometimes the baby is going to have a wet diaper a few seconds longer because your conference call went long and that’s okay. Everyone is okay in the end.”
Her new mindset has been liberating on all fronts. “Once you sort of get to that point I think you enjoy your children more, you enjoy your job more, and I’m getting closer to that point which is fun,” she says. “It’s chaos, I’ll be honest. I’m sleep-deprived. But it’s also the greatest thing that ever happened to me, so I can’t really complain.”
That said, Campbell admits that as a mom she “always feels a little bit inadequate,” and that she still struggles with fears that she’s “not getting it done, whether it’s at home or at work.” While her “heart aches” each day when she says goodbye and heads to work, once she arrives at the office Campbell is able to “get focused and move on.” Not for long! “They enter my brain and I feel like I’m not focusing enough on what I should be doing at work” she concedes. “You go through this constantly. Balance does not exist. Who made up that word?”
Campbell is mom to Eli James, 19 months, and Asher Liam, 4 months, with husband Dan Senor.
Source: Julie Menin’s Give and Take
- Posted on Aug 11, 09 at 6:00PM
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- 25 Comments
August 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I was told by my doctor that breast milk can be frozen and that it’s good to use for six months. That’s what we did when I went back to work when my son was one, I pumped and we froze the extra and used it after he weaned.
August 11th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
I know that if a woman can and chooses to breastfeed, then that is ultimately the best for baby; however I really take offense to her comment. She acts like it is the end of the world to give a baby a bottle of formula. Although it is not identical to breastmilk,formulas have come a long way in mimicking the nutrients in breastmilk. There are some women who CAN’T breastfeed or who just choose not to and I feel that her statement is a slap in the face to those women. I breastfed both of my children for 3 months and then switched to formula and I have 2 beautiful, intelligent and healthy children to show for it. I just wish the breast/formula debate wasn’t so competitive. Sorry, but that is just my two cents. I don’t usually post but this just struck a nerve.
August 11th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
^ Then you either didn’t read the entire article or just missed Campbell’s point completely.
August 11th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Right on, April. I think Campbell is awesome for saying hey, we need to give ourselves a break. I have four very young children, and it is overwhelming. Whether it’s the stress of breast-feeding or bottle-feeding, something’s going to get you down. Humor can make things so much easier, and it can be hard to remember that.
August 11th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
poppykai, please read the article again. She clearly says it’s not the end of the world to give the baby formula.
August 12th, 2009 at 1:41 am
A Tai Chi and Chinese medicine instructor taught us in our Tai Chi class that life balance does not exist. The idea is that in life we are basically on a see-saw, in constant effort to keep it level – that the actual state of being “in balance” is a fallacy…interesting stuff! Especially in the context of balancing such demands on our time and our beings that us women have embraced.
August 12th, 2009 at 3:57 am
Yay! Finally an honest parent. I find it is actually better to relax and see things the way they are, and not as if everything surrounding and concerning your baby is a matter of life or death. Breastmilk is not magic and formula is not bad for your child!
August 12th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Like formula is rat poison or something… I like Campbell Brown but I think in that instance, she was being a drama queen.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Bonnie, I think you missed the point too. Read response number 5 and then read the article again
August 12th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I don’t think she was saying at all that formula was bad for babies. She was just trying to make a point of how her attitude has changed from the first child to the second (which I’m sure happens all the time with mothers). With the first child, she was upset about giving her child formula (which was her decision as a parent-just like some people chose not to breast feed or can’t breast feed she had chosen to breast feed only) but by the second child she realized it’s not the end of the world if the baby has formula as opposed to breast milk. I really think that was the point she was trying to make.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Oh,Bonnie please.She never said or implied at any moment that formula was rat poison.Did you ever take time to actually read the piece or just decided to get riled up after a few sentences?
Let’s try to actually read what she said:
“to laughing out loud at myself at how ridiculous I had become in trying to do it all” and a little further “Formula is fine”.
Campbell Brown,taking time to laugh at herself,is not the drama queen here.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Bonnie, apparently you didn’t read the whole article either. The point was that she realized she was being a drama queen about it and decided to lighten up a bit about formula. She knows it isn’t bad for babies now, she was just relating a story about when she thought it was awful.
August 12th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Poppykai and Bonnie I too think you are missing the point. She wasn’t knocking formula I think the formula was a metaphor for her not being able to do everything. The fact that she could not control every part of her life made her sit and reflect. She realized that it wasn’t the end of the world and the main point was that her son was fed. I applaud her efforts. She’s doing what every working mom is trying to do…… MAKE IT WORK!!!
August 12th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Campbell is awesome.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:20 am
It’s all a matter of personal priorities. As someone who has been nursing for the last 8 years (3 children), and who advocates for breastfeeding, and volunteers assisting breastfeeding mothers, I, myself, would be devastated (ok, not like if someone died, but very very upset) if I had to give my child formula. (Not that I would ever put myself in the position that Campbell was in, in a different city from my infant). I’m sure I’ll get flamed for this, but we all have our own perspective and priorities and my commitment to exclusive breastfeeding is extremely high. Other people have different priorities. That’s fine. But it’s a perfectly valid POV. Just because it’s an uncomfortable thought for formula-feeding mothers doesn’t mean it is overly dramatic for someone else.
I disagree that you can uniformly say that “formula is not bad”. To who? The baby? How do you define bad? Is McDonalds “bad”? Bad is a subjective term, and by “bad”, if you mean “inferior or subpar”, then, yes, formula is bad. Is it inadequate? A child can grow up every day or even every meal eating fast food, but it’s not what your body is designed for, nor is it optimal. Yes, they will survive and grow and perhaps externally, you would not necessarily notice a difference; however, I think we would all acknowledge that there would be health effects that are considerable.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Also, to anyone who might make the point that it’s “only one bottle”. True. However, an exclusively breastfeeding infant has a sterile gut, void of foreign substances and allergens. As soon as any other substance is introduced (formula, cereal, juice, etc), that previously-pristine environment has, in effect, been “contaminated”. It will never be the same again.
So, if medically necessary, the benefits outweigh that risk. However, a casual philosophy of supplementation ignores or downplays an important risk. We are now seeing how many autoimmune disorders are related to GI health (which is why we now see so many products containing probiotics, something that was fringe 5-10 years ago). It’s important that when we think about our children’s GI health, we realize that formula supplementation is a crucial aspect. (Note: cesarean birth also impacts infants’ gut flora). The gut flora literally changes within the first 24 hours of supplementation, and yet takes weeks to recover back to normal breastfed-baby levels. Early supplementation also changes the PH level of the gut, shifting it toward a more acidic environment which is less protective against pathogens.
(By the time solids are introduced at around the middle of the first year, the baby’s immune system and GI tract have matured enough to better handle foreign substances. Prior to that, any artificial substance given can sensitize an infant to allergies.)
Here’s just one source to further detail this (it’s pretty heavy on the biology, though). You can certainly google for more:
http://www.health-e-learning.com/articles/JustOneBottle.pdf
August 13th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Wow. She left her 2 month old to work across the country 24/7? No wonder some things fell through the cracks…
August 13th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Did some of you read the full article and only get the part about the bottle/breastmilk??? Read it again and get off your high horse – it is about real life with a working mother – and giving yourself permission to ENJOY your life and children. It really is not relevant about the milk. It was just an “aha” moment – a wake up call.
August 13th, 2009 at 7:52 am
homeschoolmama, PLEASE do not tell me that you’re comparing formula to McDonalds’ food. And your comments about formula “contaminating” a breastfed baby’s “pristine” system only serve to further the negative attitude some people have about formula. Like the article said, breastmilk isn’t magic and formula isn’t poison. They’re both healthy ways to feed your baby and one typically works better for a family than another.
End.Of.Story.
August 15th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
It’s really amazing how judgmental and ignorant people can be, isn’t it?
August 19th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
I actually read the whole article before posting, thanks. I still think she was being overly dramatic about giving her baby 1 bottle of formula. I’ve never seen a more holier-than-thou bunch than people who exclusively breastfeed their babies. Homeschoolmama being an example. That’s all.
October 21st, 2009 at 10:04 am
For those people who have never breastfed; its completely an emtional response, not a logical one. I breastfed my son, and we have an amazing bond. However, I bawled like a baby when I gave him his first bottle of formual.
I was unable to pump. I would still produce milk as long as my son nursed, but i couldnt pump any extra.
She wasnt blasting people who dont breastfeed; she simply stated that she had a mental breakdown b/c of her circumstance.
Really not that big of a deal.
homschoolmama….
A breastfed baby doesnt have a sterile gut…are you for real…
a childs life quits being sterile the moment he/she is born…even sooner in some cases
People need to stop taking offense to everything they hear and read.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Homeschoolmama, I’m guessing it was not your intent, but it literally sounds like you’re just trying to make women feel bad about themselves.
October 21st, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Sterile gut? Void of foreign substances? Really? So what about my nephew (who my sister breast fed until he was about 16 months old) who crawled away from her when they were playing on a blanket outside and ate a leaf when he was 7 months old? That seems to be pretty contaminated to me. But alas, he is now 5, happy and healthy and without any allergies.
November 3rd, 2009 at 5:01 pm
The potential negative effects of Campbell Brown’s child having been fed *one bottle of formula* in his lifetime will surely be far, far outweighed by her unique opportunity to one day share with him the story of how she MODERATED THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. Stop for a moment and think about how truly significant that is. What an incomparable learning experience that will be, and what a unique perspective on the world she will be able to offer her children as a result of her career. Go Campbell.